1 SHAMASH.ORG /usr/www/wwwhc/listserv/archives/scj-parenting February 1996 2 16 51_Re: What to call grandparents - Bubbie? or grandma?13_Alan Horowitz19_alanh@widomaker.com29_Wed, 31 Jan 1996 23:01:53 GMT235_-

Why not use colloquial Hebrew, vice colloquial Old High German?

* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 19 43 27_Re: Converting with a child10_C. Newport21_crn@netix.demon.co.uk28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 01:56:20 GMT335_- Vicky Y Dunbar (vydunbar@asimov.oit.umass.edu) wrote: : Hello, I am new to the newsgroup, but have been lurking for a while.

: I guess part of the question here is How do I tell my ex-mother-in-law : to STOP feeding the kid pork products? She doesn't bother with the milk : and meat thing, she goes straight for the ham. [...] 63 37 41_Re: Bar / Bat Mitzvahs for Boy-Girl Twins12_Sophie Miron21_soph@ocf.Berkeley.EDU28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 08:39:13 GMT459_US-ASCII



On 16 Jan 1996, Steven R Weintraub wrote: > > It's actually the other way. Traditionally girls reach ritual maturity > (Bat Mitzvah) earlier (12 1/2) than boys. But also traditionally girls > did not have a Bat Mitzvah celebration either. When Bat Mitzvah > celebrations were first created in the early part of this century, they > were a imitation of the Bar Mitzvah celebrations, and thus occured at > the thirteenth birthday. [...] 101 37 22_Re: unkosher footwear?12_Sophie Miron21_soph@ocf.Berkeley.EDU28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 08:48:49 GMT329_US-ASCII > Me: At some point I was carrying him (meltdown time) - does that > fall under pikuah nefesh (since the choice was carry him or > murder)? > > Friend: cylor (consult your local o* rabbi.) > > Anyone want to posken (give a halachic ruling)?

I was ROFLOL (Rolling on the Floor Laughing out loud) at this one. [...] 139 26 28_Re: A hebrew name for my son12_Micha Berger21_aishdas@haven.ios.com28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 16:53:48 GMT310_- Michael A. Thomas (wndwalkr@eos.eos.net) wrote: : If you want a more direct match, the Hebrew word for Just is Tzedek -- but : I've never heard of a name derived from Tzedek.

Tzadok (A as in father, long o). Or, Tzidkia (first i short, second i is a long e, a as in father), which means "G-d is Just". 166 44 22_Re: unkosher footwear?12_Micha Berger21_aishdas@haven.ios.com28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 15:02:33 GMT509_- Sophie Miron (soph@ocf.berkeley.edu) wrote: : said that it was halahically OK to carry a child who was old : enough to walk, just not an infant, and that people usually want eruvs so : they can push a stroller. I had never heard this. It seems backward to me.

There is a notion of "chai nosei es atzmo", something alive carries itself. This idiom is probably similar in intent to the English idiom of "dead weight" -- it is much easier to carry someone who helps you than the same mass in lead. [...] 211 25 31_Re: Carrying a Child on Shabbat20_Rabbi Steve Forstein19_rebsteve@dakota.net28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 03:09:10 GMT466_- In article , msp@world.std.com wrote:

> I would be interested to see a rabbi's > reply. My understanding is that without an eruv *nothing* can be > carried, except pekuach nefesh, to save a life. That is, someone of any > age who becomes injured can be carried when necessary. But a child too > young to transport himself cannot be carried. She or he stays home, > with a family member or babysitter. [...] 237 39 15_Valentine's Day25_Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail)15_sroth@kraft.com28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 16:56:00 GMT364_-

My twins attend preschool in a suburban (Chicago), reform temple preschool program. We were planning on spending an afternoon making festive Valentine's Day cookies (heart-shaped), so I had asked the teacher if it would be OK to bring the cookies to the class on Feb 14. (They typically only allow sweet snacks on special occasions like birthdays.) [...] 277 33 22_Re: unkosher footwear?18_Isabel D Silverman27_isilverm@umabnet.ab.umd.edu28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 17:41:26 GMT400_US-ASCII



> I mentioned it at services this weekend and some of my friends who, well > let's say they're more "observant" than I am ("post-conservatives" > maybe?) said that it was halahically OK to carry a child who was old > enough to walk, just not an infant, and that people usually want eruvs so > they can push a stroller. I had never heard this. It seems backward to me. > [...] 311 28 27_CTTD: Celebrating Diversity11_Kris Hasson19_hasson@teleport.com28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 05:17:14 GMT383_- So, tonight my sons' school had its winter music program (note: not Xmas or even at the Xmas season, hurrah!). Bryan and the other 4th graders, and the 5th graders, sang through a program of songs "Celebrating Diversity." The music teacher asked all the children to come in the costume of one of the countries from which the songs were drawn. Luckily one was Israel! So Bryan [...] 340 31 39_Combining Conservative & Reform Schools8_A Angell19_BAZB78A@prodigy.com29_Tue, 30 Jan 1996 02:26:55 GMT590_- Our community has the hard reality that our Jewish population is dwindling. We have two shuls - traditional Conservative and Reform. A committee has been formed to see how the Jewish community can conserve resources and one of the areas which has been talked about has been to combine the Talmud Torah programs. However, as parents of three children we have a lot of concerns (we are conservative). We would like to know of the successes and failures in this area. What worked and what didn't. How are the different liturgies, belief in customs, and adherence to the mitzvoth taught [...] 372 49 51_Re: What to call grandparents - Bubbie? or grandma?25_Marquis Z. Hodes, MD, PhD26_hode0005@maroon.tc.umn.edu28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 07:02:01 GMT458_- garyg@flash.net (Gary Garber) wrote:

>In article <4dn328$4se@nic.umass.edu>, mlee@titan.oit.umass.edu (Michelle D >Lee) says: >> >>Dear Folks, >> >>I have a dilemma. I am newly pregnant (5 weeks), but my parents (who are >>Jewish) want to know what they are going to called by the kid. As a >>child, my grandparents on my mothers side where called Bubbie and Zayde. >>But, my Bubbie, like most bubbie, was a short and solid lady. My mother, is [...] 422 63 27_Re: Converting with a child20_Constance Stillinger23_cas@Ockham.Stanford.EDU28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 09:41:37 GMT576_- In <4edeq4$31p@nic.umass.edu> vydunbar@asimov.oit.umass.edu (Vicky Y Dunbar) writes:

>Hello, I am new to the newsgroup, but have been lurking for a while.

>I am converting to Judaism after 17 years of moderate religious study and >two years of soul searching. I have a four year old son, and I wish to >raise him as a Jew as well. My ex-husband has no problems with this, as >long as I allow his mother to celebrate Christmas and Easter with my >son. I don't have a problem with that, as long as she doesn't feed him >any trefah, and she doesn't make him [...] 486 32 46_Help keeping up with child's Jewish knowledge!20_Amy & Dane L Harwood23_amydane@harwood.iii.net28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 21:56:54 GMT528_us-ascii My son has now been in Jewish day school 8 whole days, and already he knows things I don't. He certainly knows more Hebrew than I do, but that doesn't take much :-)

I need a couple books that would work for both me and my son. Does anyone know of simple Hebrew textbooks that would have the type of vocabulary my kindergartener would learn? I don't want a college text - I want an elementary school level one, so I can learn what he learns, and so he can also use the book himself. It should start with the [...] 519 52 22_Re: Converting a Child13_Packer Family17_msp@world.std.com28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 21:57:25 GMT623_US-ASCII

Re: Vicky's message about converting with a child:

We shifted from non-observant to orthodox when our children were 2 and 6. A critical thing for the 6 year old was that we shifted his social miliue to one that supported observance. That is, he switched from public school kindergarten to Orthodox Day School first grade, and our circle of friends shifted (over the next 1-3 years) toward the Orthodox. Initially, we had our old, nonobservant friends over often on Friday night, but every Friday night became a repetition of the same friendly but eventually grating questions about why we were [...] 572 32 51_Re: What to call grandparents - Bubbie? or grandma?18_Isabel D Silverman27_isilverm@umabnet.ab.umd.edu28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 17:44:04 GMT448_US-ASCII

We call one set of grandparents bubbie/zaidy, and the other set is saba/safta. Someone else posted, saying that a bubbie doesn't fit all the old stereotypes anymore, and I would venture to say that if you took a survey, there are PLENTY of bubbie's around who are fit and active and very very with it. I work with senior citizens, and you would be surprised at the bubbie's I meet. (They tell me that they're someone's bubby) [...] 605 32 27_Re: Son Embarrased to Chant12_Sophie Miron21_soph@ocf.Berkeley.EDU28_Sat, 3 Feb 1996 01:53:43 GMT406_US-ASCII I agree with some of the sentiments Nina expressed about not inviting non-appreciative teenagers to a service. As someone who goes to shul to pray, I get really annoyed when there are tons of disinterested guests, especially when they do things which disturb the congregation. (On the other hand, I don't mind little kids running around and screaming because that's the way little kids are). [...] 638 36 27_Re: Converting with a child14_Howard Gershen18_howard@boxhill.com28_Thu, 1 Feb 1996 15:06:48 GMT486_-

Perhaps the budding adversarial relationship between Vicky and her ex-MIL could be defused by (if Vicky feels up to it) inviting the ex-MIL and other ex-relatives to one of the seders? That way Grandma and grandson could see each other in a Jewish religious context around the time of Easter (when "the ham issue" might arise). Grandma might gain more respect for V's decision and also see that it's not something to be feared or a reason for a tug-of-war for the child. [...] 675 30 19_Re: Valentine's Day24_Dane Amydane Amy Harwood15_amydane@iii.net28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 22:07:25 GMT443_- Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail) (sroth@kraft.com) wrote:

: Valentine", hence the rabbi felt that Valentine's Day was a Christian : holiday and prohibited acknowledging it in the preschool.

: And what does this mean for Halloween costumes and trick or treating? Can : the reform preschool not acknowledge Halloween either given its "pagan" : origins? I would be interested in others' opinions or "takes" on this : issue. Thanks. [...] 706 50 19_Re: Valentine's Day18_Sheila Schlesinger15_sheilas@gnn.com28_Sat, 3 Feb 1996 16:25:53 GMT646_us-ascii

In article <199602021449.AA26826@gateway.kraft.com> Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail) wrote: >My twins attend preschool in a suburban (Chicago), reform > temple preschool >program. We were planning on spending an afternoon making > festive >Valentine's Day cookies (heart-shaped), so I had asked the > teacher if it >would be OK to bring the cookies to the class on Feb 14. but that there was a > historical "St. >Valentine", hence the rabbi felt that Valentine's Day was a > Christian >holiday and prohibited acknowledging it in the preschool. > >I had never heard of this even from Conservative friends and > acquaintances [...] 757 41 27_Re: Converting with a child15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net28_Sun, 4 Feb 1996 15:48:20 GMT652_- Excellent suggestion, Howard. We always invited "strangers" to our seders and found that it was an enlightening and moving experience for them. In fact, they often appreciated it more than the Jews we invited!

Georganne Burke

In article <199602011506.KAA24374@boxhill.com>, howard@boxhill.com wrote:

> Perhaps the budding adversarial relationship between Vicky and her ex-MIL > could be defused by (if Vicky feels up to it) inviting the ex-MIL and other > ex-relatives to one of the seders? That way Grandma and grandson could see > each other in a Jewish religious context around the time of Easter (when > "the ham issue" [...] 799 40 19_Re: Valentine's Day9_Brcmktres17_brcmktres@aol.com28_Sun, 4 Feb 1996 10:48:34 GMT595_- I, from a Conservative background, married someone from essentially an Orthodox (not strict) background. I was furious when we were dating because he refused to acknowledge Valentine's Day, and frankly, at one time (we dated for 3 years) considered breaking up over it. I'm glad I didn't! I can understand it now from his, and your rabbi's perspective. The holiday really does have Christian origins and while they probably don't care what you do in your home, they don't want to bring it into the synagogue. However, I do understand your initial annoyance over the thing, since it is so [...] 840 64 50_Re: Bar Mitzvah Training (limited)-- Advice needed11_Kris Hasson19_hasson@teleport.com25_4 Feb 1996 20:27:44 -0800622_- In article <1996Jan23.152002.14738@alw.nih.gov>, rachelle@picard.niehs.nih.gov (Rachelle J. Bienstock) wrote: [snip]

>It seems to me that if you want your child to have a Bar Mitzvah, that >means you want your child to have some Jewish Identity...While you >feel that Hebrew School "is overkill" how else is your child going to >receive any type of Jewish Identity? If he is just going to memorize >something which he repeats by rote at a Bar Mitzvah celebration what >is the meaning or reason to have a Bar Mitzvah? The significance of >a Bar Mitzvah is a child publicly saying that >they are becoming part [...] 905 30 19_Re: Valentine's Day14_Jan Silbermann16_js@cs.tulane.edu28_Sun, 4 Feb 1996 00:27:02 GMT524_- In article <199602021449.AA26826@gateway.kraft.com>, Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail) wrote: > >I had never heard of this even from Conservative friends and acquaintances - > I have never seen Valentine's Day be anything but (ostensibly) a day of >celebrating one's love and (realistically) boosting sales of greeting cards >and chocolate candy. >the reform preschool not acknowledge Halloween either given its "pagan" >origins? I would be interested in others' opinions or "takes" on this >issue. Thanks. [...] 936 21 8_CTTS (5)14_Jan Silbermann16_js@cs.tulane.edu28_Sun, 4 Feb 1996 00:29:32 GMT320_-

I cannot convince Tovah that there are only seven days in a week. She always says "There are eight days. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Shabbos and Saturday since there is some of Saturday left even when Shabbos is over."

Jan, Mommy to Tovah (5), Eliana (3) and Asher (12mo) [...] 958 38 28_Re: A hebrew name for my son38_soc.culture.jewish.parenting committee25_scjp@shamash.nysernet.org28_Mon, 5 Feb 1996 16:41:05 GMT539_- In article , nbcnet@inforamp.net (Georganne Burke) wrote:

> Vicky: > > You could try the name Yonatan (Jonathan). It is a beautiful name. There [ snip ]

When our son was born, we chose the name Jonathan "G-d's gift", but weren't aware that there are two ways to spell the name: Y'honatan (yud-hay-vav- nun-tav-nun) and Yonatan (omit the "hay"). Both versions are used in the Biblical narratives about Jonathan (son of Saul and friend of David); I'm not sure which predominates. [...] 997 26 26_What to call grandparents?17_Jacqueline Bocian28_myhillel@leland.stanford.edu28_Sun, 4 Feb 1996 05:10:52 GMT549_us-ascii The modern Hebrew equivalents (actually, they are Aramaic) of "bubbe" and "zayde" are "savta" and "saba." We think that they are beautiful-sounding terms of love and affection, and our children's grandparents enjoy being a part of the rejuvenation of Hebrew language among their grandchildren's generation.

Jacqueline Bocian (myhillel@leland.stanford.edu)





* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 1024 57 19_Re: Valentine's Day15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net28_Sat, 3 Feb 1996 23:59:21 GMT617_- In article <199602021449.AA26826@gateway.kraft.com>, "Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail)" wrote:

> My twins attend preschool in a suburban (Chicago), reform temple preschool

> program. We were planning on spending an afternoon making festive > Valentine's Day cookies (heart-shaped), so I had asked the teacher if it > would be OK to bring the cookies to the class on Feb 14. (They typically > only allow sweet snacks on special occasions like birthdays.) > > She had no problem with it, but the rabbi did. . and it wasn't the sweetness > of the snack that was the issue, but that there [...] 1082 39 28_Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 14313_Packer Family17_msp@world.std.com28_Sat, 3 Feb 1996 23:09:31 GMT614_US-ASCII

Re: Sharon Roth's question on Valentines Day When we became observant and first sent our kids to Day School, it seemed silly and picky to declare Halloween and Valentine's Day non-Jewish. In fact, once I recovered from my surprise (and that took a year or so), it is the opposite. In this country, everything seems to have been sanitized so that even strongly religious holidays (e.g. Xmas) are next to non-religious. Halloween is clearly an ancient pagan holiday celebrated in close to its original form. (A book we got from the library gave a facinating historical account of this holiday, [...] 1122 36 15_Valentine's Day15_Marjorie Peskin24_mpeskin@lynx.dac.neu.edu28_Mon, 5 Feb 1996 14:31:50 GMT608_US-ASCII My children attend a Conservative preschool, where neither Valentine's Day nor Halloween is celebrated. Halloween for its Pagan AND Christian roots, Valentine's Day for its Christian roots.

There was much discussion of Halloween last October on the Jewish mailing lists to which I subscribe. I was interested to note that many Jews do not allow their children to trick-or-treat, but do stay at home and give out treats to the little goblins who come calling. It gave me lots to think about, and I think I'm going to limit the amount of trick-or-treating my kids do in the future because [...] 1159 50 19_Re: Valentine's Day11_Kris Hasson19_hasson@teleport.com28_Sun, 4 Feb 1996 18:42:35 GMT641_- In article <199602021449.AA26826@gateway.kraft.com>, "Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail)" wrote: >My twins attend preschool in a suburban (Chicago), reform temple preschool >program. We were planning on spending an afternoon making festive >Valentine's Day cookies (heart-shaped), so I had asked the teacher if it >would be OK to bring the cookies to the class on Feb 14. (They typically >only allow sweet snacks on special occasions like birthdays.) > >She had no problem with it, but the rabbi did. . and it wasn't the sweetness >of the snack that was the issue, but that there was a historical "St. >Valentine", hence the [...] 1210 63 18_Re:Valentine's Day12_Karen Nathan21_knathan@comcastpc.com28_Fri, 2 Feb 1996 18:15:10 GMT428_us-ascii "Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail)" wrote:

>My twins attend preschool in a suburban (Chicago), reform temple preschool >program. We were planning on spending an afternoon making festive >Valentine's Day cookies (heart-shaped), so I had asked the teacher if it >would be OK to bring the cookies to the class on Feb 14. (They typically >only allow sweet snacks on special occasions like birthdays.) [...] 1274 33 19_Re: Valentine's Day11_Ken Goldman20_kgold@watson.ibm.com28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 16:24:35 GMT308_- [Moderator's Note -- I am allowing this post as a follow up, but I want to note that further discussion, not related directly to raising children in a Jewish context and focusing on the holidays will be asked to post to a more appropriate newsgroup such as s.c.j. -- Thank you. Yr Moderator] My $.02. [...] 1308 55 27_Re: Converting with a child5_Steve21_steve-e@ix.netcom.com28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 06:21:27 GMT542_- Vicky, Howard and Georgeanne,

I agree, it is a wonderful time - our Seders start about 7-7:30 and have not ended before 1AM yet. We go through the entire service - except for the part in my version of the Haggadah where it says to the effect that this is a strictly Jewish ceremony and that is why we CAN'T invite non-Jews!!! I just don't read that passage of the introduction - have it marked off VERY well. Maybe that very aspect of the Passover Seder is the reason that so many non-Jews have developed a mystical aura to the [...] 1364 21 8_CTTS 5.211_Ken Goldman20_kgold@watson.ibm.com28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 16:28:40 GMT185_- I tried to resist posting this, but my son is just sooooo cute . . .

Last Saturday, after attending Fri. night services, he went around all day singing "Avenu Volcano".

1386 46 14_Sara's Sharing24_Deborah Brodie/Jay Brill19_dor_l_dor@radix.net28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 16:47:37 GMT582_- Deborah Potash Brodie, M.A. Temple Beth Ami, Rockville, MD April 1995

Everyone has one person in his or her life who has touched the core of the soul. As a Judaic special educator, I am privileged to watch my students grow and attain their life cycle goal of becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. One such teen is Sara. Interestingly, Sara is faced with dealing with CHARGE Syndrome. Her abilities are plenty; her disabilities are multifaceted. But Sara has an incredible desire to learn, an insatiable ability to cut to the core and ask for the bottom line, and an uncanny way [...] 1433 35 19_Re: Valentine's Day10_David Karr19_karr@CS.Cornell.EDU28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 20:19:12 GMT421_- Taking the moderator's warning to heart, I'll try to stay on topic.

On the one hand, if I let my daughter dress up as a butterfly one night after dinner and run around to a few neighbors' houses for a few minutes saying "hello" and gathering candy, or if I let her write "I like you" and draw a heart on a piece of paper that she gives to a friend, I see no benefit to her Yiddishkeit, but is there a harm? [...] 1469 29 10_Barmitzvah14_Malcolm Woolfe28_m.woolfe@auntie.bbcnc.org.uk28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 19:33:55 GMT486_-

I have been invited to attend a Barmitzvah outside New York. It is not an Orthodox function, perhaps even Progressive. But ???? it does not take place in a Temple, but in the hour prior to the 'cocktail hour' in an ??? INN.

Whilst not orthodox myself, this does seem unusual by UK standards. Whilst not wishing to offend the family, it does not seem strictly KOSHER to me. Am I out of touch with US approach to this important day in the life of the boy/young man. [...] 1499 60 19_Re: Valentine's Day10_LayneMurph18_laynemurph@aol.com28_Sat, 3 Feb 1996 03:27:56 GMT378_- Sharon Roth writes: <
> [...] Does anyone know of simple Hebrew textbooks that would have > the type of vocabulary my kindergartener would learn?

<> (Torah Aura) is an Alef-Bet primer for older grades (in afternoon schools). I've been using it with my son [2y10m] for letter review and vocabulary. [...] 1644 37 27_Re: Son Embarrased to Chant20_Irene Stern Friedman13_lexf@epix.net28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 21:38:01 GMT435_- In article , Sophie Miron wrote:

> I've got 12yrs and 3 1/2 mos. till my sons bar-mitvah and this is what I > would do. *Invite* everyone to both the service and the party but make > it clear that the service is *optional*. Offer information to anyone who > wants. This way, those who are interested can feel included whether or > [...] 1682 40 28_Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 14613_Packer Family17_msp@world.std.com28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 09:02:55 GMT633_US-ASCII

Re: Raising children in a Jewish context *and* the Valentine/Halloween dilemma, I am responding to Ken Goldman's comments about "picking your battles" and his choosing Xmas and Easter to eliminate instead of these two. I assume that the battle picking has to do with your children, and I agree heartily that there are times when one looks the other way over some issue to save emotionaly impact for something more important. *However* I find it very important to give a strong consistently Jewish message to children by saying, "we don't celebrate nonJewish holidays." I could easily imagine my children asking [...] 1723 36 17_Anyone attending?15_Marjorie Peskin24_mpeskin@lynx.dac.neu.edu28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 14:51:30 GMT468_US-ASCII There is a conference at Brandeis next week that I'm considering attending and I was wondering if anyone on this newsgroup/mailing list was going as well. Its the "Exploring Issues of Gender and Jewish Day School Education" conference, and as this issue has big ramifications in my life (boy/girl twins are surely the best test subjects for Gender discrimination) I'm curious to learn more about how it is handles in the various day school affiliations. [...] 1760 32 14_CTTS-6 yr old.14_Andrea Herrera15_Andreah@utj.org28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 09:55:09 GMT341_-

This is an oldie but a goodie in our home. When our now 16 year old son was about 6 years old, we started moving towards a more observant lifestyle. One of the things that we did was to turn off of the TV during Shabbat. It was an adjustment for the kids, but it worked out really nice, as we spent more family time together. [...] 1793 19 4_CTTS0_32_Meredith_Warshaw@charlesview.com28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 14:57:00 GMT280_- This morning, out of the blue, Keith asked me "How can G-d be invisible?" I said something which boiled down to "I don't know" (ok, so I'm not at my best first thing in the morning :-) His next question was "If G-d's invisible, then how can G-d know what G-d looks like?"! [...] 1813 38 17_Bar Mitzvah Blues47_Douglas W. Jones,201H MLH,3193350740,319338287925_jones@pyrite.cs.uiowa.edu28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 17:48:26 GMT460_- With 5 weeks to go before my son's bar mitzvah celebration, a new phase is starting to set in.

Years ago, he really enjoyed the challenge of learning Hebrew; his biggest complaint about Hebrew school was the other students who goofed off in class and distracted him from the fun of learning. That complaint continues to this day, but the fun has gone out of it. Yesterday, in driving him home from his twice weekly visit with the rabbi, he said, [...] 1852 27 25_Naming Ceremony for Girls5_GREER13_greer@aol.com28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 07:30:03 GMT545_- I have been "lurking" here for a while, absorping lots of helpful information, but this is one topic for which I have seen no postings (I found the bris faq, which was great). Although I am Jewish by birth, my parents were mostly non-observant and my religious education consisted only of attending Hebrew school until 3rd grade. I am expecting my first child in August, and I want to give my child a better grounding in Judaism than I had: step one is to decide how my child will be introduced to our faith upon its birth. My husband is [...] 1880 63 19_Re: Valentine's Day15_Fred Rosenblatt34_Frederic.H.Rosenblatt@jpl.nasa.gov28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 18:49:18 GMT617_US-ASCII In article <4f7vc3$p0i@watnews1.watson.ibm.com>, kgold@watson.ibm.com (Ken Goldman) wrote:

> > I certainly would respect any Jewish person or institution which > feels that (St.) Valentine's Day or (All Saints Eve) Halloween > are Christian based holidays and does not want to celebrate them. > > OTOH, living in the US, I feel that I have to choose my battles, > which are Christmas and Easter. To me, Valentine's Day > and Halloween celebrations are so far removed from whatever Christian > origin they had that I personally have no problem with them. > > -- > Ken Goldman kgold@watson.ibm.com [...] 1944 47 28_Re: A hebrew name for my son12_Micha Berger21_aishdas@haven.ios.com28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 21:12:17 GMT411_- soc.culture.jewish.parenting committee (scjp@shamash.org) wrote: : When our son was born, we chose the name Jonathan "G-d's gift", but weren't : aware that there are two ways to spell the name: Y'honatan (yud-hay-vav- : nun-tav-nun) and Yonatan (omit the "hay").... : He said, the difference is : that the longer version contains one more letter from G-d's Holy Name. : So, we chose the longer spelling. [...] 1992 57 19_Re: Valentine's Day25_Jo Pitesky UCLA Astronomy26_pitesky@mira.info.ucla.edu28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 22:15:29 GMT725_- In article , Fred Rosenblatt wrote: > >From parenting perspective, even if I had no strong feelings about the >negative effects on my children of celebrating these holidays, I still >think that I am best serving them by maximizing the attention given to >the many (sometimes undercelebrated) Jewish holidays on the calendar, >rather than filling them up with the "empty calories" of Christosecular >holidays.[snip] > >I vividly remember driving to work one St. Patrick's day morning listening >to a radio show emanating from a bar (green beer, etc.). The Jewish radio >personality had brought her ten year old daughter [...] 2050 49 51_Re: What to call grandparents - Bubbie? or grandma?13_The Hesh Inc.20_rosenwas@trenton.edu28_Tue, 6 Feb 1996 18:13:03 GMT583_us-ascii Ariel Shattan wrote:

>Well, you could ask them what they *want* to be called by the kid...

That's what I did. As a result, my daughter now calls my father "Saba" and my mother "Granny Franny." She calls her maternal grandparents "Zayda" and "Grammy Shar". It might be confusing, but only for the parents, not for the children; it's not really any more confusing than remembering the names of all your siblings, other relatives, friends, etc. The kids know who their grandparents are, we should give them that much credit. [...] 2100 37 20_B/B Mitzvah Twinning14_Andrea Herrera15_Andreah@utj.org28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 09:55:09 GMT483_-

>Deborah Potash Brodie, M.A. wrote: (part of article snipped) > Sara came up with an > idea -- that of being able to twin with a child who couldn't have a > Bar/Bat Mitzvah because of illness or possible death. Sara had spent a > great deal of time in hospitals when she was younger and she knows what > that is like. To think of a way, a very special way of sharing her > moment, her triumph, with another individual is, indeed, a caring and > compassionate mitzvah. [...] 2138 61 21_New York Bar Mitzvahs15_Irene Bleiweiss16_IBLEIWEI@fcc.gov28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 14:31:51 GMT435_- Malcolm Woolfe was puzzled by Bar Mitzvah customs in the United States vs. those in the U.K., but I think that it's New York customs rather than general U.S. customs that may prompt his question.

I grew up in New York, and although I don't live there anymore, have attended a number of functions there. Perhaps the following will increase your comfort level with attending the celebration to which you have been invited? [...] 2200 38 29_Re: Naming Ceremony for Girls15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 02:06:09 GMT574_- In article <4f9ihu$5mm@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, greer@aol.com (GREER) wrote:

> I have been "lurking" here for a while, absorping lots of helpful > information, but this is one topic for which I have seen no postings (I > found the bris faq, which was great). Although I am Jewish by birth, my > parents were mostly non-observant and my religious education consisted > only of attending Hebrew school until 3rd grade. I am expecting my first > child in August, and I want to give my child a better grounding in Judaism > than I had: step one is to decide how my [...] 2239 45 19_Re: Valentine's Day15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 01:43:50 GMT522_- In article <4f8d40$lpq@fjalar.cs.cornell.edu>, karr@cs.cornell.edu (David Karr) wrote:

> Taking the moderator's warning to heart, I'll try to stay on topic. > > On the one hand, if I let my daughter dress up as a butterfly one > night after dinner and run around to a few neighbors' houses for a few > minutes saying "hello" and gathering candy, or if I let her write "I > like you" and draw a heart on a piece of paper that she gives to a > friend, I see no benefit to her Yiddishkeit, but is there a harm? [...] 2285 35 19_Re: Valentine's Day14_Bari Nirenberg18_nirenber@shani.net28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 07:41:48 GMT592_-

>Both Valentine's Day and Halloween are considered by many to have >Christian origins. Many Jews do not celebrate these holidays.(I would be >very curious if any of our readers in Israel could comment about whether >there is any recognition at all of these holidays there.)

These holidays do not exist in Israel. Even New Year's Day is not a holiday here, although New Year's Eve is celebrated by some, especially by Russian immigrants. January 1st is just a regular work day, like any other day. However, our children do have a chance to go to school in costume and to [...] 2321 37 14_Re: Barmitzvah14_Howard Gershen18_howard@boxhill.com28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 16:14:51 GMT548_-

Malcolm Woolfe expressed concern that he was invited to "a Barmitzvah outside New York" and that since it would not "take place in a Temple, but in the hour prior to the 'cocktail hour' in an ??? INN" it might not be "strictly KOSHER."

It seems like this might be a case of too many invitees, not enough space in the shul's social hall. The "INN" may be a larger, public social hall where the family can host more people. (Look at your invitation again: is the party in celebration of the Barmitzvah to be held in the INN, or [...] 2359 48 23_DEBBIE FRIEDMAN CONCERT5_Cindy16_afn10305@afn.org28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 17:05:44 GMT623_US-ASCII On Thu, 8 Feb 1996, Cindy wrote:

> This past Tuesday night our local Hillel and a local synagogue sponsored > a live concert by Debbie Friedman. > > If you have never seen this wonderfully talented Jewish folksinger, I > would HIGHLY recommend seeing her. She mixes humor, fantastic vocal > range, various sounds (from flamenco, rock, jazz) to inspire and bring > the praises of G-d around the country. Most songs were in English, some > in Hebrew, and it was very exciting. I was touched by her warmth and > talent. > Cin D. > ************************************************************************* [...] 2408 37 28_Re: A hebrew name for my son14_Bari Nirenberg18_nirenber@shani.net28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 20:10:25 GMT645_- In article <199602042255.RAA28059@shamash.org>, scjp@shamash.org says...

>When our son was born, we chose the name Jonathan "G-d's gift", but weren't >aware that there are two ways to spell the name: Y'honatan (yud-hay-vav- >nun-tav-nun) and Yonatan (omit the "hay"). Both versions are used in the >Biblical narratives about Jonathan (son of Saul and friend of David); I'm >not sure which predominates. > >When we told the mohel our choice of name (immediately before the brit!), >he asked us which spelling we preferred? He said, the difference is >that the longer version contains one more letter from G-d's Holy Name. > >So, we [...] 2446 47 25_Tu B'Shvat with a Toddler25_Jo Pitesky UCLA Astronomy26_pitesky@mira.info.ucla.edu28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 22:25:13 GMT409_- We did a Tu B'Shvat seder for the first time, inviting over a few friends (with children of varying ages).

We started with the seder. There are a lot of mystical traditions that one can draw from, but I wanted to minimize that in favor of more concrete imagery, so the changing colors of the four cups of wine were likened to the changing colors of the Israeli countryside as spring progresses. [...] 2494 54 27_Re: Son Embarrased to Chant15_Fred Rosenblatt34_Frederic.H.Rosenblatt@jpl.nasa.gov28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 21:05:21 GMT651_US-ASCII In article , lexf@epix.net (Irene Stern Friedman) wrote:

> In article > , Sophie > Miron wrote: > > > I've got 12yrs and 3 1/2 mos. till my sons bar-mitvah and this is what I > > would do. *Invite* everyone to both the service and the party but make > > it clear that the service is *optional*. Offer information to anyone who > > wants. This way, those who are interested can feel included whether or > > > > I strongly disagree with that idea. That means some people (Jewish or > Gentile) have a [...] 2549 32 15_Valentine's Day0_32_Meredith_Warshaw@charlesview.com28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 14:21:00 GMT343_- Barbara Pollack writes: <> [...] 2582 45 21_Re: Bar Mitzvah Blues0_14_dinitz@tss.com28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 17:58:40 GMT378_- Doug Jones wrote: > The problem is simple, he's getting sick of working over and over > and over the same maftir portion and the same haftorah. He's got > Parshat HaChodesh just about memorized, which isn't what he set out > to do! [...] > Does anyone out there have any interesting suggestions for how to > help kids through the final grind on the way to a bar mitzvah? [...] 2628 42 14_N(ice)TTD: 3.515_Marjorie Peskin24_mpeskin@lynx.dac.neu.edu28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 04:26:36 GMT345_US-ASCII My kids have their own pushkes, and lately they have become so heavy that I decided to roll the coins. Whenever we do this, we talk about what we're going to do with the money, and since it is their money, they get to choose. Of course, I mention a few possibilities, but they pretty much know what they want to give the money to. [...] 2671 40 50_Re: Help keeping up with child's Jewish knowledge!14_Howard Gershen18_howard@boxhill.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 15:13:21 GMT651_-

Amy Harwood asked about simple Hebrew textbooks, dictionaries, or other elementary school-level books so she and her son can learn Hebrew together.

A couple of ideas...

Here in NYC there's a store that sells all sorts of foreign (non-English) dictionaries and travel resources (it's in Rockefeller Plaza, but I can't recall the name...probably something obvious, like "The Dictionary Store"). I seem to remember they sell a laminated sheet of simple everyday items with Hebrew words. It's the sort of thing you can bring to Israel, and point to something you want/need without actually having to remember the Hebrew word. [...] 2712 89 21_Re: Anyone attending?15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 02:03:02 GMT423_- No. I'd feel a lot better if you told me that there would be an exploration of the issues surrounding the lack of service for LD children in the Jewish schools. Unless you live in a community which has public funding for these services, the Jewish education system has managed to totally ignore the problem and worse yet, to dump these children into "special schools" or worse yet into the public system altogether. [...] 2802 67 29_RE: naming ceremony for girls6_astarr16_astarr@nando.net28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 12:55:59 GMT335_US-ASCII

I wanted to respond to the question about what people do to name girls. Georganne Burke had written in with the traditional/Orthodox tradition of naming the child at the next Torah service after the birth. However, as a Conservative Jew I don't know any Conservative or Reform Jew still following this tradition. [...] 2870 43 28_Proof of Judaism for my Kids13_Ariel Shattan30_ariel_shattan@ccm.jf.intel.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 17:09:42 GMT506_us-ascii

An earlier article in this forum discussed the need for someone attempting to wed in Israel to prove their Judaism by providing a copy of their parents' Ketubah (or was it an orthodox certificate of brit?).

I am Jewish. My husband is not. By Halacha, my children are Jewish, and are being raised as such. However, I have no Ketubah. It is possible that my kids may end up in Israel, and may end up more dati than I. Thus, they may find themselves in such a situation some day. [...] 2914 28 31_Re: Shabbat vs. the Girl Scouts5_LDarr13_ldarr@aol.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 05:45:25 GMT527_- You can do a lot if only you choose to become involved. As a den leader for a Jewish Cub Scout pack (Pack 613) we try to gear all activities around our holidays; we skip the regional events which occur on Shabbat; and dietary laws are observed. Check out the scouting section on the Shamash WWW page and the J-scouts list. I think that the leaders as well as the boys in our pack have a lot of fun and I haven't heard anyone say they thought they were missing out on anything because we are Jewish. However, our biggest [...] 2943 43 28_Proof of Judaism for my Kids13_Ariel Shattan30_ariel_shattan@ccm.jf.intel.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 17:09:53 GMT506_us-ascii

An earlier article in this forum discussed the need for someone attempting to wed in Israel to prove their Judaism by providing a copy of their parents' Ketubah (or was it an orthodox certificate of brit?).

I am Jewish. My husband is not. By Halacha, my children are Jewish, and are being raised as such. However, I have no Ketubah. It is possible that my kids may end up in Israel, and may end up more dati than I. Thus, they may find themselves in such a situation some day. [...] 2987 41 14_Re: Barmitzvah12_Paul S. Wolf27_aa854@cleveland.Freenet.Edu28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 19:11:37 GMT574_-

In a previous article, m.woolfe@auntie.bbcnc.org.uk (Malcolm Woolfe) says:

> >I have been invited to attend a Barmitzvah outside New York. It is not an >Orthodox function, perhaps even Progressive. But ???? it does not take place >in a Temple, but in the hour prior to the 'cocktail hour' in an ??? INN. > >Whilst not orthodox myself, this does seem unusual by UK standards. Whilst >not wishing to offend the family, it does not seem strictly KOSHER to me. >Am I out of touch with US approach to this important day in the life of the >boy/young man. > [...] 3029 37 19_Re: Valentine's Day15_Fred Rosenblatt34_Frederic.H.Rosenblatt@jpl.nasa.gov28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 20:41:39 GMT377_US-ASCII And now that I think about it, we're darn lucky that we don't have to recognize these holidays:

Halloween: What kind of message for our kids is "trick or treat"? I know that most kids concenterate on the treat rather than the trick, but I've been subjected to some incidents in the recent past. And what is the message of the treat but greed and gluttony? [...] 3067 30 35_Re: Planting parsley for Tu B'Shvat0_17_Carenmarc@aol.com29_Sat, 10 Feb 1996 19:52:24 GMT611_-



pitesky@mira.info.ucla.edu (Jo Pitesky UCLA Astronomy) wrote:

>Finally, I had planned on planting parsley seeds during the seder >(just in time for Pesach!), but it turns out that the seeds need to >be soaked for 24 hours prior to planting. Oops. So our guests >went home with seed packets and flowerpots.

Don't worry about the instructions to soak parsley seeds. We've planted parsley on Tu B'Shvat every year for the last 6 years without ever soaking the seeds first and it grows just fine, as long as you remember to water each and every day before it sprouts. We have a [...] 3098 61 32_Re: Proof of Judaism for my Kids14_Bari Nirenberg18_nirenber@shani.net29_Sat, 10 Feb 1996 19:35:47 GMT584_- In article <4ffv51$dk8@ornews.intel.com>, ariel_shattan@ccm.jf.intel.com says... > > >An earlier article in this forum discussed the need for someone >attempting to wed in Israel to prove their Judaism by providing a copy of >their parents' Ketubah (or was it an orthodox certificate of brit?). > >I am Jewish. My husband is not. By Halacha, my children are Jewish, >and are being raised as such. However, I have no Ketubah. It is >possible that my kids may end up in Israel, and may end up more dati >than I. Thus, they may find themselves in such a situation some day. > >If [...] 3160 44 11_Tu-B'Shevat15_Marjorie Peskin24_mpeskin@lynx.dac.neu.edu28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 16:22:56 GMT434_US-ASCII We also participated in a Tu B'Shevat seder, and played some fun games. I read a book to the kids, which isn't about Tu B'Shevat per se, but about a beloved tree that falls during the '87 Hurricaine in England that I highly recommend, if you can find it anywhere but the UK. Its called The Hurricaine Tree, by Libby Purvis and Priscilla Lamont, The Bodley Head, London, 1988. All proceeds go to the Woodland Trust, too. [...] 3205 41 30_Sholem Aleichem "Motl" Stories0_16_NinaSalk@aol.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 15:29:37 GMT576_- Does anyone know if the Sholem Aleichem "Motl the Cantor's Son" stories are still in print? I cannot find them at the public library, at my synagogue library, or in local bookstores.

Motl is a wonderful character in Yiddish literature, often called the Jewish "Huck Finn." I remember loving these stories when I was a kid -- they were often read aloud as "treat" for good behavior in my Sholem Aleichem Kinder Shul, and I think they'd be stories my 9.5 yr. old son would love. They begin with Motl's father's death in the village of Kasrilevke, and describe the [...] 3247 60 23_Re: Rechov Sumsum (fwd)11_Ruth Heiges21_heiges@post.tau.ac.il28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 20:39:17 GMT531_US-ASCII I received the following and am submitting to the group if not copied by the writer. I would only add what may not be obvious to non-Hebrew speakers: It's probably unfortunate, in retrospect, that the creators added "Ben Kipod" to Kippi's name. *However,* (1) political correctness is pretty far removed from the Israeli experience; (2) anyone who wants to be gender sensistive has a hard time in Hebrew, in which almost every word is inherently either male or female (similar to French and other Romance languages). [...] 3308 93 21_Re: Bar Mitzvah Blues15_Barbara Pollack29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 16:16:26 GMT641_- On Feb 07, 1996 09:48:26 in article , 'jones@pyrite.cs.uiowa.edu (Douglas W. Jones,201H MLH,3193350740,3193382879)' wrote:



>With 5 weeks to go before my son's bar mitzvah celebration, a new phase is

>starting to set in. > >Years ago, he really enjoyed the challenge of learning Hebrew; his biggest

>complaint about Hebrew school was the other students who goofed off in >class and distracted him from the fun of learning. That complaint >continues to this day, but the fun has gone out of it. Yesterday, in >driving him home from his twice weekly visit with the rabbi, he said, > >"You [...] 3402 65 19_Re: Valentine's Day15_Barbara Pollack29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 21:23:01 GMT359_- On Feb 07, 1996 17:43:50 in article , 'nbcnet@inforamp.net (Georganne Burke)' wrote:



How will you explain to her that >she celebrated a Christian holiday when she gets old enough to ask? And take >it from me, it is Christian. I was a Spanish major and know the importance of >All Saints' Day and the night before. > [...] 3468 65 28_Proof of Judaism for my Kids11_Ruth Heiges21_heiges@post.tau.ac.il29_Sat, 10 Feb 1996 17:49:58 GMT403_US-ASCII >Date: Fri, 9 Feb 1996 17:09:53 GMT >From: Ariel Shattan >Subject: Proof of Judaism for my Kids >Message-ID: <4ffv51$dk8@ornews.intel.com>

>An earlier article in this forum discussed the need for someone >attempting to wed in Israel to prove their Judaism by providing a copy of >their parents' Ketubah (or was it an orthodox certificate of brit?). [...] 3534 47 39_Re: Valentines Day & Halloween Holidays10_Marc Davis15_mdavis@infi.net28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 12:01:31 GMT529_US-ASCII

this is in regard to the celebration of non-jewish holidays. I think the key to all these questions is moderation. My children attend a jewish day school and the school does not celebrate halloween nor valentines day. I used to teach in a secular school for ADD/HD children and there was a very religious baptist child that did not celebrate halloween and admonished all the kids who did celebrate it. This child was the butt of many cruel jokes and tricks and the child's self esteem was terribly lowered. [...] 3582 72 24_Re: Attending Bar Mitvah15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net29_Sun, 11 Feb 1996 05:29:47 GMT380_- I agree with Fred. It may be impossible to attend a Bar Mitzvah which is at a synagogue too far to walk (happens here in Toronto all the time). So if we can't get there or can't stay close enough to get there, we go to the party at night or the next day (if there is one) and celebrate with the family then. Davening with the Bar Mitzvah is ideal, but not always possible. [...] 3655 829 69_soc.culture.jewish FAQ: Jewish Childrearing Related Questions (12/12)13_Daniel Faigin21_faigin@pacificnet.net26_10 Feb 1996 11:10:14 -0800711_- Archive-name: judaism/FAQ/12-Kids Soc-culture-jewish-archive-name: faq.12-Kids Posting-Frequency: Monthly

Frequently Asked Questions on Soc.Culture.Jewish Part 12: Jewish Childrearing Related Questions [Last Change: $Date: 1995/10/19 15:24:46 $ $Revision: 1.6 $] [Last Post: Sun May 7 11:07:07 1995]

This posting is an attempt to answer questions that are continually asked on soc.culture.jewish. It was written by cooperating laypeople from the various Judaic movements. You _should not_ make any assumption as to accuracy and/or authoritativeness of the answers provided herein. In all cases, it is always best to consult a competent authority--your local rabbi is a good place to start. [...] 4485 23 27_Re: DEBBIE FRIEDMAN CONCERT13_Alan Horowitz19_alanh@widomaker.com28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 01:56:04 GMT419_- Debby Friedman is a gifted lyricist and a medium vocalist. Her musical skills are nil. Compare her melodies to Paul Simon's. Debby seems to know three chords. She should have become a poet. Don't encourage your kids listen to her, they'll grow up thinking that being an enthusiastic-enough "wanna" is an acceptable substitute for actual talent. She's a perfect example of the "dumbing-down" of American society. [...] 4509 84 19_Re: Valentine's Day10_David Karr19_karr@CS.Cornell.EDU28_Thu, 8 Feb 1996 18:46:56 GMT582_- nbcnet@inforamp.net (Georganne Burke) writes: >karr@cs.cornell.edu (David Karr) wrote: > >> I see no benefit to her Yiddishkeit, but is there a harm? > >Yup. Are all the neighbors supplying Kosher candy?

As a matter of fact, I think the answer is "most of them are," though I admit that since we don't keep Kosher on any other day, we didn't check the heckshers on the wrappings. But we already tell the kids they can't eat this or that goody for various reasons, including "it's not wrapped" and "that's just too much candy," and I doubt that adding "no hecksher" to [...] 4594 55 27_Re: Son Embarrased to Chant15_Barbara Pollack29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 13:20:16 GMT385_- On Feb 08, 1996 13:05:21 in article , 'Frederic.H.Rosenblatt@jpl.nasa.gov (Fred Rosenblatt)' wrote:





>The idea of "inviting" or "not inviting" another Jew to pray at your bar >mitzvah is a foreign concept to me too. The synagogue is not closed to the >general public on the day of your bar mitzvah, although the kiddush and/or [...] 4650 21 29_RE: naming ceremony for girls13_Karen M. Page26_Karen.M.Page@Dartmouth.EDU28_Fri, 9 Feb 1996 17:59:55 GMT298_- There is a great section on the Brit Bat (girl's naming) ceremony in the New Jewish Baby Book by Anita Diamant which includes a history (herstory? :) of the ceremony and different options for prayers and songs. I highly recommend it if you are looking for a more Reform type of celebration. [...] 4672 31 21_Re: Bar Mitzvah Blues16_Michael A. Leeds28_mleeds@astro.ocis.temple.edu29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 14:12:24 GMT531_- I strongly endorse the third option (learning to lead other parts of the service). I think many synagogues do a disservice by focusing solely on learning the Haftarah and a (frequently small) portion of the Torah. While these skills are important, I think it is far more important to have a familiarity with - and appreciation for - the service itself. **THAT** is what most of us do every Shabbat. The fixation on the skill that will seldom be used again helps make the Bar Mitzvah seem like an endpoint rather than a beginning. 4704 39 30_Sholom Aleichem "Motl" Stories16_Eileen Schneyman24_eschneym@photon.poly.edu29_Sun, 11 Feb 1996 06:29:39 GMT338_US-ASCII Nina asked about stories with boys/males as the main character. Look for the Ike and Mama series by Carol Snyder (I believe they are published by Jewish Publication Society). They are about a boy (I don't remember his age, but probably about age 9) growing up on the Lower East Side. There are at least 3-4 different books. [...] 4744 18 18_List Side Problems16_Daniel P. Faigin21_faigin@pacificnet.net31_Fri, 23 Feb 1996 14:09:23 -0800333_-

Right now, there seem to be some problems with the gatewaying of mail between the newsgroup and the list, resulting in no digests being produced. We've reported the problem to the list maintenance folks, but the management of listproc is out of our hands. We beg your indulgence whilst we work on solving the problem. [...] 4763 44 21_Re: Bar Mitzvah Blues47_Douglas W. Jones,201H MLH,3193350740,319338287925_jones@pyrite.cs.uiowa.edu29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 18:26:25 GMT484_- >From article <4fnhs8$13d@cronkite.ocis.temple.edu>, by mleeds@astro.ocis.temple.edu (Michael A. Leeds):

> I strongly endorse the third option (learning to lead other parts > of the service). I think many synagogues do a disservice by focusing > solely on learning the Haftarah and a (frequently small) portion of the > Torah. While these skills are important, I think it is far more > important to have a familiarity with - and appreciation for - the service > itself. [...] 4808 40 50_Re: Help keeping up with child's Jewish knowledge!13_Louise Miller22_miller@louise.ucsd.edu29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 18:59:37 GMT596_us-ascii When you buy easy reading children's books in Hebrew, (or any language for that matter,) be aware that they are usually meant for beginning readers who are fluent speakers of that language.

The translations of English language books are especially hard for some reason. I have a copy of "Harold and the Purple Crayon" that is really hard to read, and a "Winnie the Pooh" that I've never been able to get through! Then when you get into the easier books, the level of sophistication may be beneath that of your child. Also, sometimes the translations are really re-writes, so [...] 4849 52 29_Re: Naming Ceremony for Girls15_Daniel P Faigin15_faigin@aero.org28_Wed, 7 Feb 1996 23:34:31 GMT393_- On Tue, 6 Feb 1996 23:30:03 -0800, greer@aol.com (GREER) said:

> Could someone give me information about the rituals and ceremonies observed > for newborn girls?

An excellent source for this is:

[Dia93] Diamant, Anita. The New Jewish Baby Book: Names, Ceremonies & Customs, A Guide For Today's Families. Woodstock, Vt. : Jewish Lights Pub., 1993. [Non-traditional] [...] 4902 62 21_Re: Bar Mitzvah Blues0_17_bdlerner@JTSA.EDU29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 21:50:17 GMT597_US-ASCII

Dear Michael and Chevreh,

I would respectfully disagree with your conclusion, but not with your perspective. In my experience of the past 25 years plus of working with and "officiating" at b'nei Mitzvah, in general, I would agree that BMitzvah candidates should be asked to learn those skills which they will and should use most frequently in the forthcoming years. That is not to say that each student should not also learn the fundamentals of synagogue and home worship. But, when we have a chance to ask - one last time, it would appear for too many children - for [...] 4965 38 27_Re: DEBBIE FRIEDMAN CONCERT25_Jo Pitesky UCLA Astronomy26_pitesky@mira.info.ucla.edu29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 16:25:19 GMT513_- In article <4fe9jk$eqe@wilma.widomaker.com>, Alan Horowitz wrote: >Debby Friedman is a gifted lyricist and a medium vocalist. Her musical >skills are nil. Compare her melodies to Paul Simon's. Debby seems to know >three chords. She should have become a poet. Don't encourage your kids >listen to her, they'll grow up thinking that being an enthusiastic-enough >"wanna" is an acceptable substitute for actual talent. She's a perfect >example of the "dumbing-down" of American society. [...] 5004 45 19_RE: Valentine's Day25_Roth, Sharon J. (MS-Mail)15_sroth@kraft.com29_Tue, 13 Feb 1996 16:49:00 GMT451_-

A previous poster had written (regarding participation in Valentine's Day / Halloween) that "(t)he conflict is that the child is celebrating a non-Jewish event."

Let's remember that there is a distinction between *participating* in something and *being* something.

I am clearly not "renouncing my Judaism" when I participate in yoga class, even though many of yoga's teachings emanated from Buddhist thought and practice. [...] 5050 52 14_Valentines Day14_Sherri Shulman18_sherri@cse.ogi.edu29_Wed, 14 Feb 1996 18:55:00 GMT591_-

I've been thinking about the issue of to what degree we incorporate non-Jewish holidays.

There are those who have made the argument that these are non-Jewish holidays in origin, regardless of their current status, so we as Jews shouldn't acknowledge them.

I don't see this myself. All our holidays are of non-Jewish holidays, since they all had pre-Judaic interpretations and customs that have evolved over time. As someone said, I suppose that Thanksgiving originally had a great deal of religious significance, though we don't give it that significance today. [...] 5103 25 27_Hebrew name for Christopher0_18_kmuldrow@enter.net29_Wed, 14 Feb 1996 19:06:36 GMT362_- Some time ago there was a thread about what Hebrew name to give a boy named Christopher. Someone suggested a name that had a similar sound.... (at least the Ch) -- but I don't remember what it was. Did anyone out there save those posts? Or does anyone remember the name I am thinking of? (As I recall, it had a beautiful meaning, but I forget that too!). [...] 5129 46 19_Re: Valentine's Day15_Fred Rosenblatt34_Frederic.H.Rosenblatt@jpl.nasa.gov29_Wed, 14 Feb 1996 19:47:13 GMT541_US-ASCII In article <4fdgf0$qo1@fjalar.cs.cornell.edu>, karr@CS.Cornell.EDU (David Karr) wrote:

> >--- not > >Thanksgiving or Martin Luther King's birthday, but a religious holiday > >that has become secularized. > > And you don't think *Thanksgiving* is a religious holiday that has > become secularized? What do you think the Puritans had in mind when > they decided to "give thanks"? I'd say at the very least, the holiday > commemorates an event that in its own time had overwhelming non-Jewish > religious significance. > > [...] 5176 54 39_Re: Valentines Day & Halloween Holidays3_Sue27_rubinste@aldus.NorthNet.org29_Mon, 12 Feb 1996 14:29:32 GMT455_-

I would rather have my child participate in Halloween and Valentine's day, which I believe are now totally secular, than have to put up with the the Christmas plays and Christmas around the world curriculum that took up the entire month of December.

Someone once siad re `Halloween that they are trying to make something religious out of something secular and re Xmas tryng to make something secular out of something religious. Sue. [...] 5231 28 17_Baby Shower Blues0_24_nrandall@shrsys.hslc.org29_Wed, 14 Feb 1996 20:12:54 GMT395_- Both my husband and I are Jewish and agree that a shower for our baby is inappropriate. However, several of his colleagues and/or their wives have repeatedly expressed a desire to throw a shower for me.

I would appreciate your comments and suggestions on how to respond to their kindness. How do I explain to our non-Jewish friends that Jewish people just don't "do" baby showers? [...] 5260 23 24_books for single parents0_32_Meredith_Warshaw@charlesview.com29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 02:48:00 GMT341_- Has anyone encountered any books dealing with single parenting from a Jewish point of view? In particular, I'd love to find a book about Jewish observance in a single parent household. I know that we find many of the observances (such as Friday nights) to feel less satisfying when the only participants are one parent and one child. [...] 5284 50 21_Re: Baby Shower Blues14_Bari Nirenberg18_nirenber@shani.net29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 16:39:01 GMT606_- In article <14FEB96.20125485@shrsys.hslc.org>, nrandall@shrsys.hslc.org says... > >Both my husband and I are Jewish and agree that a shower for our baby is >inappropriate. However, several of his colleagues and/or their wives have >repeatedly expressed a desire to throw a shower for me. > >I would appreciate your comments and suggestions on how to respond to their >kindness. How do I explain to our non-Jewish friends that Jewish people just >don't "do" baby showers? > >Also, one of these friends wanted to give us a piggy bank as a gift, but her >spouse said "not for a Jewish family". I don't [...] 5335 45 18_Re: Valentines Day12_Micha Berger21_aishdas@haven.ios.com29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 12:49:16 GMT349_- In the O community, a variation of this discussion comes up every November. America's *Thanksgiving*.

Is it a religious holiday or a legal holiday? We're supposed to seperate church and state in this country, but who is it this holiday was founded to thank? Was it set up to thank Christianity's trinitarian deity, or is more general? [...] 5381 30 19_Re: Valentine's Day14_Robyn Kozierok26_robyn@rice-chex.ai.mit.edu29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 18:37:46 GMT698_- In article <4fb8a1$1dh6@saba.info.ucla.edu>, Jo Pitesky UCLA Astronomy wrote:

>I'm realizing that the reason why I'm not anti-Halloween and anti- >Valentine's day (besides an inordinate fondness for candy :-) is that >they don't pre-empt Jewish holidays.

Another big factor for me is that they're not "Christ-based" the way Christmas and Easter are. To me that's a big difference. Christmas and Easter celebrate something that's intrinsically non-Jewish in a way that I don't think Halloween and especially Valentines Day are. I don't at the moment have any problem with my child participating in these holidays, though I wouldn't expect a Jewish [...] 5412 58 21_Re: Bar Mitzvah Blues15_Barbara Pollack29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 18:11:58 GMT610_- On Feb 12, 1996 18:47:08 in article , 'bdlerner@JTSA.EDU' wrote:

>I should add that more and more Conservative - and I would hope in all >our other movements - congregations are teaching students to read Torah >and Haftarah with the traditional cantillation trope/trup notes. Not only

>does it give the BMitzvah a chance to function at the most skilled level >of adult participation in the service, but it enables each of those so >well trained to both participate as adults in their own family >congregation but also to take a leadership role in Camp Ramah, USY on [...] 5471 54 21_Re: Baby Shower Blues14_Robyn Kozierok26_robyn@rice-chex.ai.mit.edu29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 22:07:50 GMT427_- In article <14FEB96.20125485@shrsys.hslc.org>, nrandall@shrsys.hslc.org says... >Both my husband and I are Jewish and agree that a shower for our baby is >inappropriate. However, several of his colleagues and/or their wives >have repeatedly expressed a desire to throw a shower for me.

Depending upon the nature of your discomfort, perhaps you could come up with a solution that is a happy one for all concerned. [...] 5526 83 19_Re: Valentine's Day18_William D. Ratnoff17_wratnof@emory.edu29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 23:54:47 GMT579_US-ASCII



> > In article <199602131438.AA13952@gateway.kraft.com> you wrote: > > : A previous poster had written (regarding participation in Valentine's Day > > : Halloween) that "(t)he conflict is that the child is celebrating a > > : non-Jewish event." > > > > : Let's remember that there is a distinction between *participating* in > > : something and *being* something. > > > > : I am clearly not "renouncing my Judaism" when I participate in yoga class, > > : even though many of yoga's teachings emanated from Buddhist thought and > : practice. > > > > [...] 5610 37 21_Re: Baby Shower Blues7_SUBMAIL18_JFOX@MACC.WISC.EDU29_Thu, 15 Feb 1996 20:18:48 GMT599_- In <14FEB96.20125485@shrsys.hslc.org> nrandall@shrsys.hslc.org writes:

> Both my husband and I are Jewish and agree that a shower for our baby is > inappropriate. However, several of his colleagues and/or their wives have > repeatedly expressed a desire to throw a shower for me. > > I would appreciate your comments and suggestions on how to respond to their > kindness. How do I explain to our non-Jewish friends that Jewish people just > don't "do" baby showers? Well, lots of Jewish people do do baby showers and do buy things for the baby before the birth. It's pretty much local [...] 5648 35 31_Re: Hebrew name for Christopher10_C. Newport21_crn@netix.demon.co.uk29_Wed, 14 Feb 1996 20:32:46 GMT400_- kmuldrow@enter.net wrote: : Some time ago there was a thread about what Hebrew name to give : a boy named Christopher. Someone suggested a name that had a similar : sound.... (at least the Ch) -- but I don't remember what it was. : Did anyone out there save those posts? Or does anyone remember : the name I am thinking of? (As I recall, it had a beautiful meaning, but : I forget that too!). [...] 5684 31 29_Re: Summer Activites for Teen22_debora hazan bogorotty25_bogorotty@Montreal.com.br29_Tue, 13 Feb 1996 00:48:54 GMT587_us-ascii

As a member of the board of a jewish school in Rio de Janeiro, I would like to receive more information about camps and other exchange programs for teens. Our pupils usually go to USA in exchange programs when they are 14 or 15 to learn english. Why not offer them a jewish exchange program or at least a jewish camp, where they will learn english and have a jewish experience at the same time? If you can contact the right institutions, please send them my adress.Thank you very,very much! Debora Hazan Bogorotty Escola Israelita Eliezer Steinbarg R. Redentor 119 [...] 5716 28 29_RE: naming ceremony for girls12_LT Silverman17_ltsilver@borg.com29_Tue, 13 Feb 1996 13:22:01 GMT363_ISO-8859-1 There is a packet on Baby Naming available from Women's League for Conservative Judaism at 48 E. 74th St. NYC 10021 which allows you to customize the ceremony to your own needs.

Certainly having the mother and baby there is the ideal. We had the naming a week after my older daughter was born and it was a high point in her parents' lives! [...] 5745 32 23_Re: Rechov Sumsum (fwd)13_Louise Miller22_miller@louise.ucsd.edu29_Tue, 13 Feb 1996 17:14:59 GMT419_us-ascii Interestingly enough, in a Hebrew translation of "Don't Cry Big Bird," Big Bird is translated as "Tziporet," (bird in the feminine form,) and is referred to in the feminine gender.



The Hebrew language has gender throughout, so it's impossible to create a neutral character.

I will keep my opinions about the Palestinian version to myself since it is outside the scope of this group. [...] 5778 46 31_Re: Hebrew name for Christopher0_12_krys@nkn.net29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 05:25:16 GMT401_- kmuldrow@enter.net wrote:

>Some time ago there was a thread about what Hebrew name to give >a boy named Christopher. Someone suggested a name that had a similar >sound.... (at least the Ch) -- but I don't remember what it was. >Did anyone out there save those posts? Or does anyone remember >the name I am thinking of? (As I recall, it had a beautiful meaning, but >I forget that too!). [...] 5825 19 19_Re: Valentine's Day9_Brcmktres17_brcmktres@aol.com29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 12:12:36 GMT328_- I was the one who mentioned the conflict between the Hebrew School attendance and Halloween. No, the school does not have a strenuous schedule. It is after regular school, in the latter part of the afternoon, and that is the time when most younger kids go trick or treating, as opposed to after dinner and/or after dark. [...] 5845 31 56_What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?9_Brcmktres17_brcmktres@aol.com29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 12:12:49 GMT589_- All these discussions about Halloween and Valentines Day have gotten me thinking about what it is going to be like when my 13 month old (and his sibling-to-be) start having friends and going over to their houses after school and for birthday parties. We live in a town that has a somewhat substantial Jewish, but not Orthodox population. Moreover, our immediate neighbors with children my son's age are not Jewish. We keep kosher at home and although we go on occasion to non-kosher restaurants, we basically just have fish or pasta. What do you do, call everyone else's mother and [...] 5877 49 34_Thanksgiving (was Valentine's day)10_Eric Simon23_erics@access2.digex.net29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 20:58:09 GMT607_- Fred Rosenblatt (Frederic.H.Rosenblatt@jpl.nasa.gov) wrote: : In article <4fdgf0$qo1@fjalar.cs.cornell.edu>, karr@CS.Cornell.EDU (David : Karr) wrote: : : > >--- not : > >Thanksgiving or Martin Luther King's birthday, but a religious holiday : > >that has become secularized. : > : > And you don't think *Thanksgiving* is a religious holiday that has : > become secularized? What do you think the Puritans had in mind when : > they decided to "give thanks"? I'd say at the very least, the holiday : > commemorates an event that in its own time had overwhelming non-Jewish : > religious significance. [...] 5927 52 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?15_Marjorie Peskin24_mpeskin@lynx.dac.neu.edu29_Sat, 17 Feb 1996 19:12:01 GMT548_- Brcmktres (brcmktres@aol.com) wrote: : I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has faced this situation. I suspect : that the only way to really resolve this situation is to move to an : Orthodox community where keeping kosher is not a big deal.

I don't live in an Orthodox community, and none of my neighbors keep Kosher. But we do, and my kids have eating in non-Kosher homes. My kids are 3.5 yrs old, and the know the finer points of Kashrut already. They may not be up on certain cuts of meat, but they do know that they don't mix [...] 5980 51 19_Re: Valentine's Day12_Vicky Dunbar26_vydunbar@student.umass.edu29_Sat, 17 Feb 1996 14:46:16 GMT593_us-ascii ""William D. Ratnoff" wrote: > ness of many of the postings and an absence of joy. > I wonder whether our children can detect these harsh attitudes, and what > unintended messages they may take. It seems to me that proscribing the > exchange of valentines does little to enhance our children's Judaic >upbringing. > > Our almost-3-year-old daughter brought cards and cookies, both of which she > > had made herself,to her classmates yesterday. I would not have let her > do so if I had any thought that these acts might harm her Jewish > self-identity, which [...] 6032 24 12_Thanksgiving15_Georganne Burke19_nbcnet@inforamp.net29_Sun, 18 Feb 1996 00:37:35 GMT482_- In fact, there was not a Christian spin to Thanksgiving, but rather a spritual one. No Jew could have any problem with thanking Hashem for freedom in a spiritual way within the family setting.

Our family loves Thanksgiving and we still have pangs here in Canada on the fourth Thursday in November, when we have to go to work and school instead of eating turkey and enjoying the day. So we celebrate it on the Friday night following as part of our Shabbos celebration. [...] 6057 34 14_Shabbat School5_Shari15_sfr2@hooked.net29_Sat, 17 Feb 1996 16:25:48 GMT590_us-ascii Are any Conservative synagogues having religious school classes on Shabbat morning? What is good or not so good about it?

The youth education committee at my daughter's religious school is debating having Religious school on Shabbat morning instead of Sunday morning. The goals are: to bring together the Jewish day school kids who do come to Shabbat services and the religious school kids who generally don't. to run only one program instead of two programs (religious school and Junior Congregation). The downside would be: the kindergarteners wouldn't get to color. [...] 6092 30 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?16_Avrohom Goldberg19_SQQT87A@prodigy.com29_Sun, 18 Feb 1996 15:17:28 GMT523_- re KASHRUS Family members of mine are the the same situation and perhaps even worse because they keep CHOLOV YISROEL which their frinds don't they do a few things 1.constantly talking about it in a way which will make them feel good about it 2.promise them that if they will not eat at the frind you will give them the kosher version of it at home 3.do not be embarreassed to tell the adults (parents ) not to give food to your children and how much it means to you and the child 4.at partys send along your own bag [...] 6123 48 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?20_Irene Stern Friedman13_lexf@epix.net29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 16:09:34 GMT597_- In article <4g1sc1$l4k@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, brcmktres@aol.com (Brcmktres) wrote: .. We live in a town that has a somewhat > substantial Jewish, but not Orthodox population. Moreover, our immediate > neighbors with children my son's age are not Jewish. We keep kosher at > home and although we go on occasion to non-kosher restaurants, we > basically just have fish or pasta. What do you do, call everyone else's > mother and have to brief them before they have your kid over? And what if > they choose to disregard what you say? And what about birthday parties, > where your child could [...] 6172 28 12_Re: CTTS 5.210_Eric Simon23_erics@access2.digex.net29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 21:01:39 GMT307_- Ken Goldman (kgold@watson.ibm.com) wrote: : I tried to resist posting this, but my son is just sooooo cute . . . : : Last Saturday, after attending Fri. night services, he went around : all day singing "Avenu Volcano".

(ROTFL!)

Reminds me of one I read a year or two back on misk.kids: [...] 6201 63 32_Thanksgiving was: Valentines Day15_Barbara Pollack29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 19:25:37 GMT433_- On Feb 14, 1996 10:59:49 in article , 'sherri@cse.ogi.edu (Sherri Shulman)' wrote: > >There are those who have made the argument that these are non-Jewish holidays >in origin, regardless of their current status, so we as Jews shouldn't >acknowledge them. > >I don't see this myself. All our holidays are of non-Jewish holidays, since >they all had pre-Judaic interpretations and customs that have evolved over [...] 6265 37 28_Re: books for single parents14_Gary P. Garber25_70625.1335@compuserve.com29_Mon, 19 Feb 1996 16:51:32 GMT462_- In article <199602150249.VAA32040@dam.CharlesView.COM>, Meredith_Warshaw@charlesview.com says: > >Has anyone encountered any books dealing with single >parenting from a Jewish point of view? In particular, >I'd love to find a book about Jewish observance in a >single parent household. I know that we find many of the >observances (such as Friday nights) to feel less satisfying >when the only participants are one parent and one child. > >TIA, >Meredith [...] 6303 27 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?16_Avrohom Goldberg19_SQQT87A@prodigy.com29_Sun, 18 Feb 1996 15:14:01 GMT523_- re KASHRUS Family members of mine are the the same situation and perhaps even worse because they keep CHOLOV YISROEL which their frinds don't they do a few things 1.constantly talking about it in a way which will make them feel good about it 2.promise them that if they will not eat at the frind you will give them the kosher version of it at home 3.do not be embarreassed to tell the adults (parents ) not to give food to your children and how much it means to you and the child 4.at partys send along your own bag [...] 6331 28 31_Re: Hebrew name for Christopher17_Heshy Rosenwasser20_rosenwas@trenton.edu29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 15:44:27 GMT457_us-ascii Actually, I went to elementary school with a boy whose [Jewish] parents named him Christopher in English and Hillel in Hebrew. (I don't see any direct connection between the two.)

(BTW, Chris/Hillel S., if you're out there somewhere in cyberspace, speak up!)

Heshy



* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 6360 35 19_Re: Valentine's Day14_Bari Nirenberg18_nirenber@shani.net29_Fri, 16 Feb 1996 19:08:44 GMT693_- In article <4fvuhq$cts@life.ai.mit.edu>, robyn@rice-chex.ai.mit.edu says...

>Another big factor for me is that they're not "Christ-based" the way >Christmas and Easter are. To me that's a big difference. Christmas >and Easter celebrate something that's intrinsically non-Jewish in a way >that I don't think Halloween and especially Valentines Day are. I don't >at the moment have any problem with my child participating in these >holidays, though I wouldn't expect a Jewish school to necessarily >acknowledge them. > >--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/7/93 and sprout due 6/14/96 and kicking strongly!) Just an interesting note about Valentine's Day not really being a Christian holiday: [...] 6396 35 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?0_29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com29_Mon, 19 Feb 1996 22:08:06 GMT546_-

If you can accept non-meat foods, it can be done. Actually, I've found non-Jews generally more cooperative than nonkosher Jews. Just explain ahead. There are enough vegetarians that most people are accustomed to offering non-meat alternatives as long as you keep the explanations simple enough. Or you can send along special food for your child. Just make sure you send enough for everyone or your child might not get any (it happened to a friend's daughter at a birthday party during Pesach--the other kids loved the macaroons!). [...] 6432 37 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?7_SUBMAIL18_JFOX@MACC.WISC.EDU29_Mon, 19 Feb 1996 17:25:45 GMT523_- In <4g1sc1$l4k@newsbf02.news.aol.com> brcmktres@aol.com writes: When you tell a kid not to eat treif at their friends one msg you are giving is that they do not have to fit in. I think this is an important msg: We do what we think is right, even if that means we don't fit in. We hear a lot about telling kids to say "no" to drugs. Of course if they are doing drugs out of rebellion, then the experience of resisting pressure to fit in won't keep them from drugs, but if they would do them just to go along with the [...] 6470 35 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?15_Barbara Pollack29_carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com29_Mon, 19 Feb 1996 22:10:40 GMT546_-

If you can accept non-meat foods, it can be done. Actually, I've found non-Jews generally more cooperative than nonkosher Jews. Just explain ahead. There are enough vegetarians that most people are accustomed to offering non-meat alternatives as long as you keep the explanations simple enough. Or you can send along special food for your child. Just make sure you send enough for everyone or your child might not get any (it happened to a friend's daughter at a birthday party during Pesach--the other kids loved the macaroons!). [...] 6506 25 36_Aleph-bet software (Windows) & Books14_Ed Kershenbaum12_edk@SNET.Net29_Tue, 20 Feb 1996 05:47:41 GMT343_us-ascii I am looking for good aleph-bet and elementary Hebrew books and Windows software for my 2 & 4 year-old daughters. Any recommendations?

Thanks, Ed

edk@snet.net

* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 6532 21 24_Books for single parents7_Cynbatt15_cynbatt@aol.com29_Tue, 20 Feb 1996 12:31:21 GMT478_- I have also started attending a congregation that has a tot shabbat that is almost entirely music and song which my daughter (almost 4 YO) adores. However, it is the at-home observances that seem somewhat more daunting. Any how-to ideas or suggestions for books would be appreciated.

Cynthia Cynbatt@aol.com

* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 6554 25 45_Re: Help keeping up with child's Jewish knowl6_Alenke14_alenke@aol.com29_Tue, 20 Feb 1996 05:43:40 GMT422_- My toddler is only two and doesn't yet know any hebrew. Mine is quite rusty. My concern is more of a cultural nature. Any suggestions on how to keep her aquainted with jewish lore and holidays? My family is in another state and my friends are not all jewish.

Of course in another year she will attend a jewish pre-school. Do you think I can do anything now to let her know of her heritage, or should I wait? [...] 6580 51 19_Re: Valentine's Day12_Vicky Dunbar26_vydunbar@student.umass.edu29_Sat, 17 Feb 1996 14:47:17 GMT593_us-ascii ""William D. Ratnoff" wrote: > ness of many of the postings and an absence of joy. > I wonder whether our children can detect these harsh attitudes, and what > unintended messages they may take. It seems to me that proscribing the > exchange of valentines does little to enhance our children's Judaic >upbringing. > > Our almost-3-year-old daughter brought cards and cookies, both of which she > > had made herself,to her classmates yesterday. I would not have let her > do so if I had any thought that these acts might harm her Jewish > self-identity, which [...] 6632 37 32_Re: Proof of Judaism for my Kids20_Rabbi Steve Forstein19_rebsteve@dakota.net29_Tue, 20 Feb 1996 06:39:08 GMT460_- In article <4ffv51$dk8@ornews.intel.com>, Ariel Shattan wrote:

> If I want to be prepared to document my children's religion, so that they > can prove their Judaism to the rabbinate in Israel, how would I do so? > > As I said, I have no Ketubah. My son's brit was done by the only Mohel > in town, who is not orthodox, but conservative. And we never got a > certificate from him, anyway. > > Any recommendations? [...] 6670 39 18_Re: Shabbat School20_Irene Stern Friedman13_lexf@epix.net29_Tue, 20 Feb 1996 21:47:22 GMT637_- In article <199602180333.TAA08112@mom.hooked.net>, Shari wrote:

> Are any Conservative synagogues having religious school classes on Shabbat > morning? What is good or not so good about it? >

My Conservative shul has Hebrew school Monday, Wednesday, and Shabbat. On Shabbat there is an hour of Junior Cong. for the younger classes followed by classroom activities. They learn alot in Junior Cong. The older classes have classes first, then join the adults in the main sanctuary for musaf. Or, if our service is running late, for the Torah portion until the time they have to leave or until the end [...] 6710 60 21_Re: Anyone attending?12_Micha Berger21_aishdas@haven.ios.com29_Tue, 13 Feb 1996 17:37:53 GMT642_- **Moderator's Note:

While it's within scjp's charter to discuss the difficulties of getting a Jewish education for a child with learning disabilities, the issue of community funding is better suited to s.c.j. Please note that followups will be directed appropriately. Thanks!

*******

Georganne Burke (nbcnet@inforamp.net) wrote: : No. I'd feel a lot better if you told me that there would be an : exploration of the issues surrounding the lack of service for LD children : in the Jewish schools. Unless you live in a community which has public : funding for these services, the Jewish education system has managed [...] 6771 32 60_Re: What to do when you keep kosher, child's friends do not?14_Laurel Halbany23_mythago@agora.rdrop.com29_Thu, 22 Feb 1996 02:08:57 GMT608_- SQQT87A@prodigy.com (Avrohom Goldberg) wrote:

[snip]

>3.do not be embarreassed to tell the adults (parents ) not to give food >to your children and how much it means to you and the child

IMO this is very, very important. It can be very embarrasing to be preparing food for your child's friend and find out only THEN that "I can't eat that"--it's much better if Mom or Dad phones ahead, so that your child's friend's parents already *know* not to make macaroni and hamburger casserole for dinner. Also, many people don't understand what kashrut entails; they might be clear on not [...] 6804 35 19_Re: Valentine's Day14_Laurel Halbany23_mythago@agora.rdrop.com29_Thu, 22 Feb 1996 02:08:55 GMT633_- Vicky Dunbar wrote:

>My son delivered cards to all his classmates, and my fiancee remembers >getting cards from his classmates when he was in school, and his parents >did not make a fuss about it. His father was raised in an Orthodox >household. I think Valentine's day and Halloween have become more >cultural holidays and less religious holidays as the years pass. As for >my son and Christmas, well, we sent driedels to school with him, and the >children played with driedels and ate little bagels and applesauce during >hanukkah, and the other children decorated the room for Christmas [...] 6840 20 47_Re: REVIEW Aleph-bet software (Windows) & Books10_ChanaRivka18_chanarivka@aol.com29_Wed, 21 Feb 1996 16:18:57 GMT400_- Davka has a program for young children called the Alef-Bet Schoolhouse. It has games for the kids to play to reinforce their learning. It also can be used in sephardic or ashkenazic. My daughter, who is 5, really enjoys it.

Chana

* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 6861 28 32_Re: Proof of Judaism for my Kids8_Mivasair16_mivasair@aol.com29_Fri, 23 Feb 1996 07:30:29 GMT605_- You are getting some good advice that directly answers your question -- although I think that one about immediately coming down on the mohel with a threat to punish him is a little heavy. I'd suggest following those suggestions. However, I hope you'll also look at the bigger picture -- and maybe you already do. In my opinion, the longer-term larger-scope solution, although it is unlikely to come about any time soon, is to support organizations in Israel that promote Jewish religious pluralism. Then, your children won't have to be subjected to the kind of intrusive and insulting behaviour by [...] 6890 22 40_Re: Aleph-bet software (Windows) & Books0_23_Alberto.Djmal@zippo.com29_Sun, 25 Feb 1996 01:50:43 GMT366_- In article <3129607D.7FD@snet.net>, Ed says... > >I am looking for good aleph-bet and elementary Hebrew books >and Windows software for my 2 & 4 year-old daughters. Any >recommendations? check out Torah Educational Software "Alef to Tav" (1-800-925-6853) and Right to left software "Aryeh to Zebra" 3332 Yonge Street POBox94034,Toronto,Ontario M4N 3R1,Canada [...] 6913 42 36_Re: Thanksgiving was: Valentines Day14_Laurel Halbany23_mythago@agora.rdrop.com29_Wed, 21 Feb 1996 18:01:27 GMT340_- carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com (Barbara Pollack) wrote:



>I don't want to sound jingoistic. Much of what I said applies to any >country where Jews are full members of society. We don't do our children >any good by teaching them to behave as if less than full citizens and to >refuse to celebrate nationalistic holidays. [...] 6956 21 27_Re: DEBBIE FRIEDMAN CONCERT7_Rotberg15_rotberg@aol.com29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 03:56:26 GMT468_- My experience with Debbie Friedman, which includes numerous CAJE conferences and concerts have been musically and spiritually moving. I am not a musician and cannot judge her musical ability. I do know that her ability to move a crowd,speak to peoples' inner souls and move them to feel closer to G-d and each other is extraordinary. I have also experienced her liturgical renditions at services and find them a meaningful addition, especially her Mishaberach. [...] 6978 22 30_Jewish couple looking to adopt11_Ian K. Buda17_ikb@ix.netcom.com29_Sun, 25 Feb 1996 02:50:47 GMT383_- We are a nice jewish couple who is looking to adopt a jewish child. Does anyone know of any organizations in the Atlanta Ga area. We would like to hear from you.

ikb@ix.netcom.com Ian and Ilene Win95 Guru



* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 7001 65 21_Re: Baby Shower Blues12_Sophie Miron21_soph@ocf.Berkeley.EDU29_Sat, 24 Feb 1996 02:13:38 GMT463_US-ASCII On 14 Feb 1996 nrandall@shrsys.hslc.org wrote:

> Both my husband and I are Jewish and agree that a shower for our baby is > inappropriate. However, several of his colleagues and/or their wives have > repeatedly expressed a desire to throw a shower for me. > > I would appreciate your comments and suggestions on how to respond to their > kindness. How do I explain to our non-Jewish friends that Jewish people just > don't "do" baby showers? [...] 7067 44 45_Re: Help keeping up with child's Jewish knowl11_David Ellis21_dellis@mkitso.bbn.com29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 14:38:24 GMT338_- alenke@aol.com (Alenke) writes:

> My toddler is only two and doesn't yet know any hebrew. Mine is quite rusty. > My concern is more of a cultural nature. Any suggestions on how to keep her > aquainted with jewish lore and holidays?

The best way is by getting her involved in Jewish practices and observances at home. [...] 7112 45 13_Purim Classic15_Marjorie Peskin24_mpeskin@lynx.dac.neu.edu29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 18:17:45 GMT565_US-ASCII We've been talking about Purim costumes at my house for what seems like months. My kids were hesitent at first to choose anything, and then they went through the 'changing my mind every ten seconds' stage of excitement. We've now honed in on our choices, although Graham is still hemming and hawing about his two choices: A cow OR Uncle Moishy. :-) :-) Now, both are fraught with difficulties. I've been to two fabric stores, and neither have any patterns for cow costumes in February. One woman looked at me like I'd lost my mind and asked me if how [...] 7158 43 18_Re: Shabbat School19_Cheryl Birkner Mack27_dd279@cleveland.Freenet.Edu29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 12:58:18 GMT612_-

Reply to message from sfr2@hooked.net of Sat, 17 Feb > >Are any Conservative synagogues having religious school classes on Shabbat >morning? What is good or not so god about it? ..... >The downside would be: >the kindergarteners wouldn't get to color. There are other downsides: Older students also need to be able to be creative in their learning at times. Teachers can not use the chalboard, show videos, play musical intstruments, etc... I know some congregations allow some or all of the above, but I don't believe Conservative Halakha does. Also some staff may not drive on Shabbat, and even [...] 7202 286 58_Judaism Reading List: Books for Jewish Children (Pt. XIII)13_Daniel Faigin21_faigin@pacificnet.net26_23 Feb 1996 11:07:19 -0800449_- Archive-name: judaism/reading-lists/childrens Soc-culture-jewish-archive-name: reading.childrens Posting-Frequency: Monthly

Selected Sources for Additional Reading on Judaism Books for Jewish Children [Last Change: $Date: 1995/06/27 20:14:39 $ $Revision: 1.2 $] [Last Post: Mon Jun 12 11:07:11 1995]

This message is intended to provide recommendations to the readers of soc.culture.jewish of books suitable for use by children. [...] 7489 41 29_Keeping Pesach Away From Home0_16_NinaSalk@aol.com29_Tue, 27 Feb 1996 15:02:18 GMT383_- Please forgive an early posting on Passover, but I am trying to prepare ahead of time for a 3 day sightseeing trip to Washington D.C. with my children during hol hamoed Pesach. We have never travelled away from home over Passover, and it all seems a bit daunting. While our family's kashrut is not of the strictest order, we *do* feel bound to keep the Passover dietary laws. [...] 7531 21 45_Re: Help keeping up with child's Jewish knowl7_Rotberg15_rotberg@aol.com29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 00:34:35 GMT445_- In addition to practicing Judaism in your home you can send your child to a quality Jewish early childhood program. If you chose the right program your child will learn to love, understand and participate in all things Jewish. Also, a good program will include the family in holiday and Shabbat celebrations at school so you and your child can participate and learn together. The school will also help with observing Judaism in the home. [...] 7553 42 44_Piggy bank/toys, (was Re: Baby Shower Blues)12_Sophie Miron21_soph@ocf.Berkeley.EDU29_Tue, 27 Feb 1996 22:16:20 GMT335_US-ASCII



> We weren't able to have a piggy bank growing up; therefore, neither did my > kids. When I was a teenager, I won a stuffed doll at a carnival -- it was > a pig. I wasn't allowed to bring it home. I asked if I could exchange it > and was able to bring home a dog. > > It's a kosher thing -- > > Deborah > [...] 7596 20 35_Announcement: New Jewish Web Site!!9_WebMaster17_manning@intac.com29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 02:22:16 GMT273_ISO-8859-1 Visit the Jewish Youth Information League!!

http://www.intac.com/~manning/jewishyouth



* This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. * Always check medical and halachic opinions with appropriate authorities. 7617 46 48_Re: Piggy bank/toys, (was Re: Baby Shower Blues)14_Robyn Kozierok26_robyn@rice-chex.ai.mit.edu29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 18:11:53 GMT329_-

>> We weren't able to have a piggy bank growing up; therefore, neither did my >> kids. When I was a teenager, I won a stuffed doll at a carnival -- it was >> a pig. I wasn't allowed to bring it home. I asked if I could exchange it >> and was able to bring home a dog. >> >> It's a kosher thing -- >> >> Deborah >> [...] 7664 22 34_Software for older children/adults0_29_roszevon@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 18:41:53 GMT394_- I was wondering if anyone had experience with software to learn Hebrew for older children/adults? Examples might be Davka's learning to read Hebrew or the Lev program called the "Eliezer Ben-Yehuda Hebrew Series" that includes reading and vocabulary. I am particularly interested in the Lev program and would appreciate reviews and/or recommendations. > Thanks in advance, Michael Zevon [...] 7687 40 34_Re: Jewish couple looking to adopt0_18_kmuldrow@enter.net29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 20:11:33 GMT331_- > ikb@ix.netcom.com (Ian K. Buda) writes: > We are a nice jewish couple who is looking to adopt a jewish child. Does > anyone know of any organizations in the Atlanta Ga area. We would like to > hear from you.

See the home page of the Jewish Adoption Information Exchange at: http://www.webassist.com/stars-of-david/ [...] 7728 22 17_Baby Shower Blues24_Deborah Brodie/Jay Brill19_dor_l_dor@radix.net29_Tue, 27 Feb 1996 02:31:08 GMT263_- We weren't able to have a piggy bank growing up; therefore, neither did my kids. When I was a teenager, I won a stuffed doll at a carnival -- it was a pig. I wasn't allowed to bring it home. I asked if I could exchange it and was able to bring home a dog. [...] 7751 30 34_Re: Jewish couple looking to adopt5_LDarr13_ldarr@aol.com29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 02:39:02 GMT589_- On February 26, 1996 Ian and Ilene wrote: We are a nice jewish couple who is looking to adopt a jewish child. Does anyone know of any organizations in the Atlanta Ga area. We would like to hear from you.

ikb@ix.netcom.com Ian and Ilene ================================================= I suggest you try your local Jewish Family Services agency. I know that JFS here in Dallas does adoptions. Good Luck. ---Lee. Lee Darr, LMSW-ACP,LPC,LMFT Psychotherapy and Growth Clinic of Dallas, P.C. 12700 Hillcrest Road, Suite 207 Dallas, TX 75230 Voice:(214)458-2656 Fax:(214)386-5676 [...] 7782 54 25_[Q]Jewish Secular Wedding10_Jim Revkin20_revco@revco.yale.edu29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 13:26:10 GMT652_- [ Article crossposted from soc.culture.jewish ] [ Author was Jim Revkin (revco@revco.yale.edu) ] [ Posted on 28 Feb 1996 13:25:05 GMT ]



Question: Jewish Secular Wedding. Frequency? Reasons?

I don't consider myself a particularly "religious" Jew, whatever that means, but was a little upset to learn that a close relative had chosen to have a secular marriage--i.e., a judge no rabbi. Curiously enough, both partners are Jews, one born in Israel, the other here. Both might have his/her reasons (one's parents were jailed for being extremists and the other has had a share of emotional stress--a prior significant other was [...] 7837 21 32_Re: Proof of Judaism for my Kids6_AG139614_ag1396@aol.com29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 16:07:11 GMT391_- The Rabbi that married you should have a copy of your Ketubah and if not you must obtain one one anyway to make your marriage legitimate which will automatically solve the the problem with your child if the Rabbi is legitimateonce that is done the circumcision part shoud not be much of a problem Do be prepared for the Rabbi to ask you to do over your religios part of your wedding. [...] 7859 37 36_Shul refuses to Bat Mitzvah daughter11_Ira Meltzer17_ira1@soho.ios.com29_Thu, 29 Feb 1996 00:48:17 GMT397_- First, let me say this is not a plea for charity. I am looking for a viable option.

My business has fallen on hard times and I've fallen behind in my dues to the shul. Now they tell me they won't Bat Mitzvah my daughter in June. I've offered them a payment plan and extra work, ie: Bingo, Bazaar, Rummage sale, etc. They have taken a very hard nosed attitude and won't work with me. [...] 7897 88 22_Purim song lyrics help17_Sarah Y. Schwartz26_sgs@skynet2.skynet.att.com29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 16:28:53 GMT387_US-ASCII I've been singing Purim songs with my kids and there are two that I remember from my childhood, but I'm missing about half the lyrics. Can anyone help me with the missing verses of these? Here are the parts that I remember ....

Oh, once there was a wicked, wicked man and Haman was his name, sir. He would have murdered all the Jews but they were not to blame, sir. [...] 7986 52 20_Re: Thanksgiving Day18_Bissell Tina Irene18_tbissell@umich.edu29_Tue, 27 Feb 1996 14:20:50 GMT638_US-ASCII





> I imagine that the first few centuries of Seders were like > this. > > Barbara Pollack > carltech_blp@usa.pipeline.com

This comparison touched me very deeply. My family lived in Montreal for four years when I was a child. Celebrating our American Thanksgiving (on the actual Thursday and we took at least the afternoon off from school to help cook, etc.) helped us maintain our national identity during our sojourn there. The comparison to Passover seders, from any age including this and next year wherever we are, is VERY apt. In our home, Thanksgiving, although not preceded by prayer in [...] 8039 51 21_Re: Baby Shower Blues18_Bissell Tina Irene18_tbissell@umich.edu29_Mon, 26 Feb 1996 15:16:38 GMT594_US-ASCII

Perhaps friends and colleagues can throw a post-baby baby shower, possible in addition to bris/naming ceremony, particularly if some would not have been invited to that event (as in the case of work-related friends). My own shower was postponed when I became bed-ridden during the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy due to complications. The party was held when my son was about one month old with the pleasant result that people thought in terms of clothing for an older baby instead of more newborn things (which I didn't really need and only last for a few weeks anyways); I [...] 8091 36 39_Gifts for Passover rather than Chanuka?15_Claire Petersky28_petersky@chinook.halcyon.com29_Wed, 28 Feb 1996 16:52:17 GMT521_- Last Thanksgiving, at the annual huge family celebration at my MIL's house, some family members talked about having a gift exchange among the cousins (now numbering 6, and will be 7 in a month or two, from ages 0-5) at Thanksgiving as an early Chanuka thing.

I am not too keen on this, seeing how a) both my girls have fall birthdays; b) we exchange gifts with Christian relatives at Christmas; and c) we have Chanuka presents to/from other Jewish relatives too. It's a lot of presents within a few months. [...]