1 SHAMASH.ORG /usr/www/wwwhc/listserv/archives/scj-parenting September 2002
2 50 41_[SCJ-PARENTING:6888] upsherin preparation9_Vicki S-F29_revsf90@alumnae.mtholyoke.edu28_Mon, 2 Sep 2002 11:25:09 EDT332_- Razi turns 3 in mid-November, when we will be having a big party at the synagogue and giving him his "first" haircut. (actually, we've been trimming his bangs for a long time - oh well).
Any recomendations on how to prepare a gregarious (but very independant and very squirmy) almost 3 year old boy for such an event? [...]
53 59 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6890] Re: upsherin preparation12_Sophie Miron16_sophjxl@dnai.com28_Mon, 2 Sep 2002 20:08:22 EDT477_- At 11:25 AM -0400 9/2/02, Vicki S-F wrote: >Any recomendations on how to prepare a gregarious (but very independant >and very squirmy) almost 3 year old boy for such an event?
We did upsherin's for our boys when they turned 3. For my younger son, I took the pictures and made them into a little storybook which you can see online at http://www.dnai.com/~sophjxl/ritual/upsherin/gupsherin/index.html . There's more info on the website if you poke around a little. [...]
113 67 47_[SCJ-PARENTING:6892] Re: Age starting preschool12_Paul E Sacks18_psacks@iastate.edu28_Tue, 3 Sep 2002 15:53:38 EDT290_- I'd like to put in a word for early pre-school. In my experience kids over the age of 18 months or so WANT to spend large, regular blocks of time with kids their own ages i.e. preschool. The point is not the "schooling" but the scheduled interaction with other kids of the same age. [...]
181 32 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6893] Re: upsherin preparation8_JanetLDD16_janetldd@aol.com28_Wed, 4 Sep 2002 08:27:37 EDT298_- my understanding is once you cut the bangs an upsherin is not in order. he already had his first hair cut.we did not do the honey thing. i promised kid a lollypop. he was happy about it because it was a big one and special. my son did not eat it. nephews when they had it done loved theirs. [...]
214 63 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6894] Re: upsherin preparation9_Vicki S-F29_revsf90@alumnae.mtholyoke.edu28_Wed, 4 Sep 2002 16:50:55 EDT453_- [[ This message was both posted and mailed: see the "To," "Cc," and "Newsgroups" headers for details. ]]
JanetLDD wrote: > my understanding is once you cut the bangs an upsherin is not in order. he > already had his first hair cut.we did not do the honey thing. i promised kid > a lollypop. he was happy about it because it was a big one and special. my > son did not eat it. nephews when they had it done loved theirs. [...]
278 114 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:6895] How to make peace in a family (long!)8_Splanche16_splanche@aol.com28_Thu, 5 Sep 2002 12:23:22 EDT587_- I have a problem that's been weighing heavily on me lately, but it's where I am the child, not the parent....I hope that still fits within the newsgroup parameters...
In a nutshell:
Mom & Dad have been divorced about 25yrs, and my sister and I are now adults with our own husbands and children. Dad's relationship with stepmom was the reason for the divorce. Our relationship with stepmom has always been a little difficult, but for the sake of the grandchildren (and my father) my sister and I try to keep things peaceful. Stepmom is a very demanding person, likes [...]
393 61 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6896] Re: upsherin preparation6_Jfer P17_J3fer@hotmail.com28_Fri, 6 Sep 2002 07:40:52 EDT552_- Vicki wrote: > wehaven't gone through all of this just to suddenly > cancel the party because a stranger on a newsgroup volunteers that it > isn't "in order"! :-) > i mentioned the trimmed bangs in passing, while asking for other > information. now i'm sorry i did.
You are 100% right, of course. Why shouldn't you make a fuss over your son, and if the fuss centres around a haircut with absolutely NO halachic significance that I can tell -- and whose origin is shrouded in mystery in the first place -- then don't let anybody bully you [...]
455 69 62_[SCJ-PARENTING:6897] Re: How to make peace in a family (long!)10_davelev12316_davelev@snet.net28_Fri, 6 Sep 2002 09:52:52 EDT347_- Blanche,
There is simply no quick fix for this. Certainly not one that will provide proper closure by the holidays.
What your stepmother is displaying is I believe one of the many faces of narcissism.
Coming from a family with a narcissistic mother myself, I have toiled long and hard trying to deal with the behavior. [...]
525 59 52_[SCJ-PARENTING:6898] Unusually nice craft project...6_Jfer P17_J3fer@hotmail.com28_Fri, 6 Sep 2002 12:53:44 EDT354_- Elisheva, 6 1/2, and I (30-something!), had a wonderful experience today with a Rosh Hashanah craft project I found online. This one is quite easy, an impressive-looking "Golden Jerusalem Skyline" pushke (tzedaka box) made with a few simple "ingredients" you may have lying around (we just moved, so we certainly have plenty of cardboard boxes!). [...]
585 52 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6899] Re: upsherin preparation9_Vicki S-F29_revsf90@alumnae.mtholyoke.edu29_Tue, 10 Sep 2002 20:44:49 EDT378_- Jfer P wrote: > Here are a couple of sources on Upsherin which you might find helpful. They > are both at my own website:
thank you! i had actually already found the page about your son Yerachmiel through a search engine, but i hadn't seen the second page, the d'var torah. i'm sure my husband will love reading it. i found it interesting too. [...]
638 59 48_[SCJ-PARENTING:6901] looking for lyrics of songs7_buster118_buster1@altern.org29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 07:14:35 EDT359_- listening to "Miami Boys Choir" songs, i wander where i can find the lyrics in jewish and their meaning in english?
by exemple, who could translate me this one :
Ana Beco'ach Gedulat Yemincha Tatir Tzerurah Kabel Rinat Amcha Sagvenu Taharenu Nora
or this other one :
Menuja Ve'simja Or La'yehudim Yom Shabbaton Yon Majmadim [...]
698 50 39_[SCJ-PARENTING:6902] Sukkot Decorations15_Claire Petersky19_cpetersky@yahoo.com29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 10:25:46 EDT453_- I've re-read the messages from last year on this topic, and the ideas won't quite exactly meet what I'm looking for.
Our synagogue has a weekend during Sukkot at a camp, and we put up a sukkah there. The kids (ages 7 - 12) will be making decorations in the early afternoon to put up immediately after. I'm in charge of seeing helping them do a fun craft project (more than just paper chains or little cards) that will decorate the sukkah. [...]
749 31 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6903] Re: Sukkot Decorations8_JanetLDD16_janetldd@aol.com29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 10:51:56 EDT291_- we have strung popcorn, cranberries or buy fake fruit to string. and of course veggies. art work relating to the theme of sukkot is always nice. if the kids dont want to draw what about stories and poem relating to succot.also dealing with the usphizin pictures of each of the guests [...]
781 58 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6905] Re: upsherin preparation12_Yael Resnick22_njpmail@mindspring.com29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 22:46:07 EDT436_- Hi Vicki,
A beautiful custom is to give a 3-year-old girl her own candlestick, and help her light a candle for Shabbos on Friday night (before you light, so you can hold the match with her). In this way she will add some much-needed light to our world. She can then continue to light one candle until she is married, when she can begin lighting two. (Customs differ, so of course do whatever seems right for your family.) [...]
840 106 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6906] Re: Sukkot Decorations8_S Marcus25_susan.marcus@sympatico.ca29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 22:47:12 EDT570_- Last year we tried something new....
I took construction paper and cut out a silhouette (like Candle sticks, apples, wine cup... anything sort of Sukkot/Jewish related...
Then I stuck it onto a piece of contact paper (clear)... where the silhouette had been cut out we filled it with tissue paper... Then when done... I covered the back with contact paper to make it sort of encased... It looked like a stain glass ... It might be interesting to do this with leaves as well. We hung some in the sukkah and some on the windows because it gave a nice [...]
947 89 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6907] Re: Sukkot Decorations13_Adelle Stavis16_adelle@attbi.com29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 22:47:30 EDT538_- A very involved project is creating fruit out of Styrofoam shapes by affixing colored sequins (using straight pins). Then you fill a basket or cornucopia (or hang them)
I have only seen the result (very pretty) and don't have instructions.
I have a friend who quilts and adds another panel to her sukkah drapery each year. The kids could quilt by gluing their fabric to another fabric, mosaic style (or using glitter glues, makers and fabric paint). Then individual panels can be sewn or hot glued to a main curtain. [...]
1037 111 52_[SCJ-PARENTING:6908] Re: looking for lyrics of songs14_Aliza Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net29_Wed, 11 Sep 2002 22:48:19 EDT610_- I have inserted the meaning below each line. Anything I could not do myself, I looked up in the Artscroll siddur, so some of the translation is theirs. Enjoy!
----- Original Message ----- From: "buster1" Sent: Wednesday, September 11, 2002 7:14 AM Subject: [SCJ-PARENTING:6901] looking for lyrics of songs
> listening to "Miami Boys Choir" songs, i wander where i can find the > lyrics in jewish and their meaning in english? > > by exemple, who could translate me this one : > > Ana Beco'ach Gedulat Yemincha (We beg You) with the stregnth of Your right hand [...]
1149 45 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6910] Re: upsherin preparation14_Aliza Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 00:18:15 EDT524_- > >on another note, now that i have a daughter, does anyone know of > >anything special done for Jewish girls at around 3 years of age? we > >won't be giving her an upsherin - my husband is adamant that this one > >will have easier hair. :)
My husband and I looked for something when our oldest (a girl) turned 3. Even if she had been a boy she wouldn't have needed an upsherin. She didn't have enough hair! LOL. It is not our minhag to have unmarried daughters who live at home light Shabbat candles, so that [...]
1195 54 73_[SCJ-PARENTING:6911] Re: looking for lyrics of songs... and BT Parenting?6_Jfer P17_J3fer@hotmail.com29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 00:18:19 EDT574_- In response to the request for the lyrics of songs... often, though the playlists for MBD et al don't give the actual song, they'll tell you what prayer service or psalm the words are from, and from there, a little Artscroll research often pays off mightily.
While listening to the stuff may be a little mind-numbing at times, it is a GREAT way to learn a wide range of useful pesukim (verses) for all occasions... and it's kind of funny stumbling through a particular tefillah (prayer) or psalm only to come upon a passage that is eerily familiar (or utterly [...]
1250 32 36_[SCJ-PARENTING:6912] Bris ettiquette4_John19_trackratt@yahoo.com29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 08:57:08 EDT506_- Hello. I will be attending a bris on Saturday and have some questions. 1) What is the appropriate dress for men and women? 2) What is the appropriate gift for this occasion?
Thank you! I am Catholic and this is all new to me.
============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...]
1283 50 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6913] Re: Bris ettiquette5_kgold20_kgold@watson.ibm.com29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 11:30:26 EDT340_-
My guess is that customs vary greatly, and that you should ask someone in your region or someone actually going to the bris.
FWIW, in my congregation, the bris is at the family's home, dress is totally casual, a few people might bring baby gifts but most do not, and a few people might bring food for the celebration. [...]
1334 76 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6914] Re: Sukkot Decorations23_Ari's Judaica Treasures12_ari@wynn.com29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 11:46:13 EDT354_- My daughter (Now age 12) made in the previous years a star made out of gold ribbon, knotted and shaped in a very nice pattern. It takes a couple of hours, but it is well worth the effort.
I covered a square of styrofoam with a dark piece of velvet cloth and mounted the star on it with short straight pins. Then I hung it up in the succah. [...]
1411 58 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6915] Re: Bris ettiquette9_Vicki S-F29_revsf90@alumnae.mtholyoke.edu29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 17:24:45 EDT326_- mazal tov to the parents of the new baby boy! more than anything, a bris is a religious celebration of the baby, so let that inform your thinking.
kgold wrote: > My guess is that customs vary greatly, and that you should ask someone > in your region or someone actually going to the bris. [...]
1470 48 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6916] Re: Bris ettiquette15_Hillary Israeli19_hillary@hillary.net29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 17:26:55 EDT413_- In , kgold wrote:
* *My guess is that customs vary greatly, and that you should ask someone *in your region or someone actually going to the bris. * *FWIW, in my congregation, the bris is at the family's home, dress is *totally casual, a few people might bring baby gifts but most do not, *and a few people might bring food for the celebration. [...]
1519 43 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6918] Re: Bris ettiquette8_Splanche16_splanche@aol.com29_Thu, 12 Sep 2002 23:22:10 EDT560_- >Hello. I will be attending a bris on Saturday and have some >questions. 1) What is the appropriate dress for men and women? 2) >What is the appropriate gift for this occasion? > >Thank you! I am Catholic and this is all new to me.
In my experience, attire for those attending a bris is the same as what you'd wear to something like a baby shower. It's usually during the day, so nothing too fancy. I would say fo men, no tie required but a button-down shirt would be always appropriate. Gift-wise, it's not really a gift-giving occasion itself, [...]
1563 132 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6919] Re: Sukkot Decorations12_Sophie Miron16_sophjxl@dnai.com29_Fri, 13 Sep 2002 00:19:40 EDT509_- --============================================= "
A few years ago I sent a letter to the teachers at our temple that included a list of potential art projects. Feel free to take what applies. I found that when I brought in the materials, the kids did a lot of their own artwork, rather than the "fruit" or "Jewish" design I'd had in mind. I thought that this actually enhanced the sukkah. In our own sukkah at home we often do tracings of our kids on butcher-block paper and have them decorate. [...]
1696 35 48_[SCJ-PARENTING:6920] Jewish Mothers Mailing List9_Brnidgyrl17_brnidgyrl@aol.com29_Fri, 13 Sep 2002 10:16:52 EDT511_- Hello,
I have deicided to start a mailing list for Jewish women who are expecting. If you would like to join and share your experiences, please go to the link below.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jewishmama/
============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...]
1732 49 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6921] Re: Bris ettiquette6_Jfer P17_J3fer@hotmail.com29_Fri, 13 Sep 2002 10:30:34 EDT623_- A few people here have suggested casual dress, given that in their congregations, brissim are held at home.
However, I'd like to butt in and suggest that there is a possibility that it will be held in synagogue, in which case, casual dress might not cut it. Many congregations -- across denominational lines -- are fairly rigid, dress-code wise, and although anyone is welcome, the original poster may feel uncomfortable if he turns up looking "underdressed." In general, Jews seem to dress up more than most Christians for weekly worship services -- a fact which surprised my Catholic boyfriend tremendously [...]
1782 114 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6922] Re: Sukkot Decorations8_S Marcus25_susan.marcus@sympatico.ca29_Fri, 13 Sep 2002 15:43:02 EDT596_- Another idea...
I was a Wal-Mart today picking up yet another bag of beads for our traditional... to add another string of beads to our Sukkah session... when I came upon another idea.
They have these plastic "canvases" something like a needle point canvas but in plastic.
I picked up one kit which had a shape of a star, rainbow and moon and comes with yarn and the form... Figured for the $3.00 (canadian) I would get an instruction sheet with some instructions and stitch instructions... Basically there are a few different stitches but you can use a simple stitch [...]
1897 53 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6923] 75 websites about Sukkot13_Jacob Richman17_jrichman@jr.co.il29_Tue, 17 Sep 2002 11:56:37 EDT435_- Hi Everyone!
Sukkot is the Jewish holiday that commemorates how protective "Clouds of Glory" surrounded the Jewish people after leaving Egypt during the forty years of wandering in the desert. It also commemorates how the Jews lived in temporary dwellings during that same time. Sukkot begins Friday evening, September 20th and continues until Sunday, September 29th 2002. (In Israel, ends Saturday night, September 28.) [...]
1951 110 62_[SCJ-PARENTING:6924] Re: How to make peace in a family (long!)17_Lawrence A. Rodis28_lrodis@strategicresource.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 00:32:26 EDT361_- I may get myself in trouble with this one. However, my feeling is after the holidays respectfully tell them how you feel and then put "your family first". You need to make sure that your husband and children are treated correctly.
I had to do this with my parents and it was very hard but if I had to do it again I would have done it much sooner. [...]
2062 74 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6925] Re: Bris ettiquette4_hbar15_noone@micro.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 00:33:01 EDT527_- Hi, In my experience ( I live in Israel) , you wear for a brit what you would wear to shul. Women, dresses, or skirts and blouses. Men, trousers and shirt maybe jacket depending on the weather. Also men and married women may be expected to have their head covered as it is a religious ceremony. For women, a hat or headscarf, for men a hat or kippa (the hosts may provide one especially if the brit is taking place in shul). Also dresses for women should cover the shoulders and not be too low cut. Here it is customary [...]
2137 37 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6926] Re: Sukkot Decorations3_DKU18_dku@mindspring.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 00:33:19 EDT375_- here is another possibility:
use felt to cut out basic shapes. sew the edges together with yarn and stuff them with fiberfill batting. if you want easy shapes, look in children's coloring books or use stencils - these could be hebrew letters, fruit stars, leaves, etc. they could be decorated with glitter or sequins too, either using craft glue or a glue gun. [...]
2175 54 47_[SCJ-PARENTING:6927] Re: Age starting preschool6_JT Fox24_theshrink@get-shrunk.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 15:14:29 EDT301_- My son just started at a Jewish preschool that takes kids whether toilet-trained or not. He's 32 months old, and he loves it (to my eternal relief). We originally signed him up for mornings only on two days, but immediately ramped up to two full days per week when we saw how much he loved it. [...]
2230 49 66_[SCJ-PARENTING:6928] *Not* decorating Sukkah because of tradition?6_JT Fox24_theshrink@get-shrunk.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 15:15:26 EDT340_- I was raised Reform so only dealt with Succot at Sunday & Hebrew school. Now that I'm married, we own a Sukkah kit and build every year. However, my husband (a former Lubatvitcher) is strongly against decorating, especially with anything that had been living (like fruits), and with lights (because they look like Christmas to him). [...]
2280 37 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:6929] Re: upsherin preparation6_JT Fox24_theshrink@get-shrunk.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 16:17:44 EDT365_- I too have been cutting my son's hair. My husband originally didn't want to cut it at all, but since we run in Reform and Conservative circles, it would have been awkward. My husband even took over the haircuts himself -- he has clippers and gives Jacob and his own head matching haircuts. However, we too are still going to do the big celebration at 3 yrs. [...]
2318 65 62_[SCJ-PARENTING:6930] Re: How to make peace in a family (long!)6_JT Fox24_theshrink@get-shrunk.com29_Thu, 19 Sep 2002 16:18:13 EDT592_-
"Lawrence A. Rodis" wrote: > I may get myself in trouble with this one. However, my feeling is after the > holidays respectfully tell them how you feel and then put "your family > first". You need to make sure that your husband and children are treated > correctly.
I completely agree. My mother-in-law defines narcissism, and while she isn't as negative as your stepmother seems to be, it can be really frustrating. While you are to be admired for your concern with "Shalom Ba'is," you can also trust the Jewish tradition of putting your own family first, meaning your [...]
2384 51 40_[SCJ-PARENTING:6932] Re: Bris ettiquette6_JT Fox24_theshrink@get-shrunk.com29_Fri, 20 Sep 2002 00:33:19 EDT434_- We just held our second bris three weeks ago, and most of my friends are not Jewish so I got this question a lot. Since ours were held at home, I told people to be comfortable, and basically advised that they can wear what they wore to work (this bris began at 6 pm). The men wore nice pants and shirts (except for my husband, who wore a suit), and most women wore "dressy casual" things like skirts and blouses or nice pants. [...]
2436 90 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6933] Re: *Not* decorating Sukkah because of tradition?14_Aliza Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net29_Fri, 20 Sep 2002 00:34:08 EDT464_- I have never heard of being against decorating, but that does not mean that there is not a real basis for it. Would your husband feel better about plastic fruits? There are also many Israel, Torah and Sukkot themed posters that can make him feel better.
Aliza ----- Original Message ----- From: "JT Fox" Sent: Thursday, September 19, 2002 3:15 PM Subject: [SCJ-PARENTING:6928] *Not* decorating Sukkah because of tradition? [...]
2527 62 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:6934] Re: Sukkot Decorations15_Claire Petersky19_cpetersky@yahoo.com29_Fri, 20 Sep 2002 00:34:41 EDT309_- Here's my latest idea -- I'll let you all know how it works out!
I have lots of herbs that grow really rather out of hand as it is in my herb garden, and I have to hack them down for winter around this time of year as it is. I harvested a huge bag of these herbs -- oregano, sage, and rosemary. [...]
2590 164 81_[SCJ-PARENTING:6935] REGIONAL, PRESS RELEASE: Jewish Education now Family Affair:19_The Jewish Advocate27_advocatenewsgroup@yahoo.com29_Fri, 20 Sep 2002 14:10:13 EDT390_- As a Jewish parent myself, I'll soon find myself facing choices about my child's education. I am glad to know that there are organizations like The Rashi School out there.
Jewish Education now Family Affair Sh'arim initiative celebrates 10th anniversary Learning for whole family
By Deborah Fineblum Raub Special to The Jewish Advocate http://www.thejewishadvocate.com [...]
2755 110 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6937] Re: *Not* decorating Sukkah because of tradition?12_Yael Resnick22_njpmail@mindspring.com29_Mon, 23 Sep 2002 07:26:59 EDT454_- It's a Chabad custom to leave the sukkah undecorated. In this way, the focus is on the beauty of the walls and the schach themselves. The idea is that when you sit in an sukkah with no decorations, you are not distracted by externals, but look instead at the sukkah itself and appreciate its meaning. A Chabad rabbi I know, who invites lots of college students to his sukkah, says that "each person who enters the sukkah makes it more beautiful." [...]
2866 163 52_[SCJ-PARENTING:6939] Camp Menorah Deal Appears Close19_The Jewish Advocate27_advocatenewsgroup@yahoo.com29_Thu, 26 Sep 2002 14:06:43 EDT364_- As a parent, I am torn betwen sending my chidren to Camp Menorah, or to the Campquest Secular Humanist camp. Personally, I am glad that it looks like I will still have a choice.
Camp Menorah Deal Appears Close Under proposed plan, Jewish day camp in Essex would stay open By David E. Nathan The Jewish Advocate Staff http://www.thejewishadvocate.com [...]
3030 165 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:6940] Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 168316_Barry Dov Lerner21_bdlerner1@comcast.net29_Sun, 29 Sep 2002 21:22:00 EDT554_- Dear Yael,
I am grateful to learn of this custom. After all my years, I didn't know and can appreciate the effect of the natural boards and schach.
On the other hand, I am also attracted to a project described to me by a colleague that I began in my last pulpit - just the reverse. Each of the wooden 4x8 panels became a unit in the Jewish life cycle, holiday cycle and even Jewish history. One can literally teach one's way around the sukkah. This wouldn't be hanging decorations either - although we can both leave this to others. [...]