1 SHAMASH.ORG /usr/www/wwwhc/listserv/archives/scj-parenting January 2002 2 152 54_[SCJ-PARENTING:6658] clebrating christmas with in-laws10_Pat and My13_pata@ctaz.com28_Tue, 1 Jan 2002 17:04:02 EST553_- I wonder if you can give me some advice and perspective: My husband converted to Judaism 15 years ago, prior to our marraige. I was raised as a Reform Jew in a very Jewish area in Chicago. My husband has always come with me to the High Holy Day services, to Shabbat services, Passover sedars, everything really and believes in the Jewish religion. The only problem that arises is around christmas time, and it is not between my husband and i, but has to do with spending Christmas at his parents' home. I have vowed to spend every christmas with [...] 155 43 47_[SCJ-PARENTING:6659] Re: Advice needed re: bris0_16_robynk@shore.net28_Tue, 1 Jan 2002 19:05:40 EST599_- In article , Fred Rosenblatt wrote: > >I think you are supposed to have a minyan (a quorum of ten men).

This is apparently not universally accepted as a requirement. This was an issue for us planning a weekday bris in a small Jewish community during a huge snowstorm. We did not think we would be able to get a minyan there at the time the mohel was available. We asked our Mohel (a Conservative Rabbi) who told us that a minyan is not required. iirc, he said only the baby and his father need to be there, though [...] 199 242 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:6661] Re: clebrating christmas with in-laws11_Leah Adezio16_sladezio@nac.net28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 00:26:22 EST561_-

Pat and My wrote in message news:3C30E43E.17C8B3F1@ctaz.com... > I wonder if you can give me some advice and perspective: My husband > converted to > Judaism 15 years ago, prior to our marraige. I was raised as a Reform > Jew in a very Jewish area in Chicago. My husband has always come with > me to the High Holy Day > services, to Shabbat services, Passover sedars, everything really and > believes in the > Jewish religion. The only problem that arises is around christmas time, > and it is not > between my husband and i, but [...] 442 101 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:6663] Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 15850_17_bdlerner@JTSA.EDU28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 08:19:46 EST546_- Dear Pat,

Let me respond as a former Arizonan, albeit one who grew up in Phoenix and became one of the first Rabbis from that state.

First of all, I remember Kingman as a service station and a diner for the truckers! I grew up in Phoenix from 1944! My father sold auto parts and station supplies to that station and then to an auto dealer in Kingman, and it's wild to realize that there is a congregation there now. Hang in there and it sounds like you are really doing a mitzvah for everyone there by involving yourself and [...] 544 83 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6664] Re: celebrating christmas with in-laws6_Jfer P17_J3fer@hotmail.com28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 08:20:34 EST553_- Myrene:

Sounds like you're doing a lot of things exactly right: sharing the joy of Judaism with your daughter and demonstrating that it's a year-round committment.

You seem to be wondering if that's enough to "insulate" her from non-Jewish influences, and I'm not sure there's an answer to that question. I think it's healthier to acknowledge that whether or not your husband's family observes it that way, Xmas IS a Christian event -- hence the name. And, explained that way, the distinction becomes much clearer for our children. [...] 628 39 61_[SCJ-PARENTING:6665] Re: clebrating christmas with in-laws=2017_Aliza N. Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 09:03:11 EST481_- (1) How does your husband feel at the celebration itself? (2) How would he feel if you stopped going? (3) Is your daughter getting mixed messages? If so, does she know how to uncross the signals, so to speak? (4) How do your in-laws see your husband's conversion? Is it a "black = mark" to them, or do they admire him for it? Did he come to it on his own or = did he convert to marry you? If the latter is the case, do they "blame" you? (5) Is not going even a possibility? [...] 668 101 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:6667] Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 15850_16_DKerzner@aol.com28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 16:38:42 EST339_- Dear Myreen,

You seem to be in great pain because of your internal conflict between your desire to live solely a Jewish life and your need to show respect and love to your husband and his family.

>They say they do it for their son and now they say >that they > do it so that > our daughter will get to have christmas. [...] 770 116 74_[SCJ-PARENTING:6669] perspective on Xmas celebrations with extended family19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 17:49:20 EST611_-

Hello, Myreen. My husband is also a ger [convert]. His parents are Unitarians [NOT Christians] but have celebrated Christmas as a family occasion in the past. Since our marriage, and that of my husband's sister and cousins, Christmas has stopped being the time the whole family gets together. Now, that's Thanksgiving for us, and we really have a wonderful time. DH's parents aren't very invested in Xmas, and in fact now use it as a time to travel to visit my husband's grandmother and uncles's family. (The whole family is fairly scattered geographically, but EVERYONE on DH's mother's side of [...] 887 62 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:6670] Fw: clebrating christmas with in-laws17_Aliza N. Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net28_Wed, 2 Jan 2002 17:51:11 EST636_- For some reason the whole first paragraph of my post was deleted. Here is the full text.

Aliza ----- Original Message ----- From: Aliza N. Fischman To: Sent: Tuesday, January 01, 2002 7:49 PM Subject: Re: [SCJ-PARENTING:6658] clebrating christmas with in-laws



> Myreen Aschenbach raises a very difficult, touchy subject. I applaud and > admire her for truly wanting to do what is right by everybody involved. > This is in no way an easy task. > Myreen, I can read your pain. It is obvious and it is honest. One thing > you did not mention, though, [...] 950 89 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6671] Re: celebrating christmas with in-laws15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com28_Thu, 3 Jan 2002 08:54:57 EST595_- "Jfer P" wrote in message news:...

> I recently wrote an article that might or might not help; certainly, it > contains some useful quotes from Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin, author of = "Putting > God on the Guest-List.": > http://www.parentsknow.com/articles/dec01-spiritinDec.htm=20 > What struck me most, in the course of my interview with Rabbi Salkin, = was > his comment that "if we put Christ back in Xmas, it would become far = less > alluring to Jewish families." I think this statement has a lot of truth = to > it. [...] 1040 41 31_[SCJ-PARENTING:6672] Brit costs5_kgold20_kgold@watson.ibm.com28_Thu, 3 Jan 2002 13:52:56 EST463_-

FWIW, my son's mohel was also a medical doctor, and his fee was covered by my insurance.

I think the food cost really depends upon the community. Are there really places where people expect a fancy, catered luncheon?

In our case, I had expected to go out the morning of the brit to buy some cake, juice, bagels, etc., but so many people in the congregation called up beforehand to say "I'm bringing ..." that I didn't need to buy anything. 1082 89 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:6673] Re: clebrating christmas with in-laws15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com28_Thu, 3 Jan 2002 14:20:40 EST542_- "Leah Adezio" wrote

> > Okay, my comments are going to be influenced by a couple facts: 1) My > mother also converted to Judaism, so I grew up with Christian relatives. 2) > I grew up (and still live in) a town where Jews are a distinct minority. 3) > I am in an interfaith marriage - my husband is a *very* lapsed Methodist and > our sons are being raised as Jews. > > That said, you simply have to reconcile yourself with the non-changable fact > that your daughter's grandparents are not Jewish and have a [...] 1172 155 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:6674] Re: clebrating christmas with in-laws11_Leah Adezio16_sladezio@nac.net28_Thu, 3 Jan 2002 22:56:20 EST561_-

Fred Rosenblatt wrote in message news:61cb6731.0201021507.527d690c@posting.google.com... > "Leah Adezio" wrote > > > > > Okay, my comments are going to be influenced by a couple facts: 1) My > > mother also converted to Judaism, so I grew up with Christian relatives. 2) > > I grew up (and still live in) a town where Jews are a distinct minority. 3) > > I am in an interfaith marriage - my husband is a *very* lapsed Methodist and > > our sons are being raised as Jews. > > > > That said, you simply have to [...] 1328 58 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6675] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah5_kgold20_kgold@watson.ibm.com28_Fri, 4 Jan 2002 08:09:22 EST582_-

fredr5@juno.com (Fred Rosenblatt) writes: > wrote: > Although my daughter doesn't turn 11 until next spring, she is very > >eager to start learning her Bat Mitzvah parsha and haftarah. > > > >How does one figure out which ones they are? SHould they correspond > >to the secular calendar birthday, i.e., whatever the parsha is on > >the Shabbat after she turns 12, OR > > > >should they correspond to the parsha that came the Shabbat after > >her Hebrew birthday (in this case, 25 Iyyar 5751). > > Definitely her Hebrew birthday. If I got your [...] 1387 89 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:6676] Re: clebrating christmas with in-laws15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com28_Fri, 4 Jan 2002 13:38:47 EST568_- "Leah Adezio" wrote

> Fred Rosenblatt wrote

> > "Leah Adezio" wrote

> > > Are they trying to convert your daughter? > > > > As you said, she is surrounded and vastly outnumbered by Christians. If > > she doesn't keep paddling against the tide, she will be swept out to sea > > whether the sea has any conscious intentions or not. > > Really? It seems as if the OP *does* 'paddle against the tide' by making > sure her daugher has sound foundation in Judaism. Is our faith so insecure [...] 1477 83 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6677] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com28_Fri, 4 Jan 2002 13:47:41 EST559_- kgold@watson.ibm.com (kgold) wrote > fredr5@juno.com (Fred Rosenblatt) writes: > > wrote: > > Although my daughter doesn't turn 11 until next spring, she is very > > >eager to start learning her Bat Mitzvah parsha and haftarah. > > > > > >How does one figure out which ones they are? SHould they correspond > > >to the secular calendar birthday, i.e., whatever the parsha is on > > >the Shabbat after she turns 12, OR > > > > > >should they correspond to the parsha that came the Shabbat after > > >her Hebrew birthday (in this [...] 1561 12 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6679] Re: figuring out the date and readings17_Aliza N. Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net28_Fri, 4 Jan 2002 18:02:44 EST328_-

--------------------- scj-parenting@shamash.org --------------------+ Hosted by Shamash: The Jewish Network http://shamash.org A service of Hebrew College, offering online courses and an online MA in Jewish Studies, http://hebrewcollege.edu/online/ --------------------- scj-parenting@shamash.org --------------------= 1574 30 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6680] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah17_Aliza N. Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net28_Sun, 6 Jan 2002 21:22:11 EST404_- If you give me the time and date that your daughter was born I would be more than happy to figure it all out for you.

Aliza

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...] 1605 62 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6681] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah14_Robyn Kozierok25_robynk@nautilus.shore.net28_Mon, 7 Jan 2002 12:22:01 EST634_- In article <61cb6731.0201040935.5368f367@posting.google.com>, Fred Rosenblatt wrote: >kgold@watson.ibm.com (kgold) wrote=20

>> In my community today, winter is often avoided because of the threat >> of bad snow storms, and summer ceremonies are rare because of summer >> camp and vacations. > >That seems way out of sync with the original idea, but of course the >formal BM is only an indicator, not a driver. As long as the aliyah, >etc., are done in their proper time, the child can prepare and read any >parsha desired, and, actually, the more the better - nobody ever said=20 >that you can only go [...] 1668 39 60_[SCJ-PARENTING:6683] How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate25_Sales at Judaica For Kids24_sales@judaicaforkids.com28_Tue, 8 Jan 2002 12:31:05 EST305_- Our Religious School wants to celebrate each child's Hebrew birthdate but we're pretty sure that a lot of people won't know what it is. Does anyone know of a computer program where you can put in someone's English date and it will give you the equivalent Hebrew birthdate (preferably shareware!!)? [...] 1708 36 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6685] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah8_JanetLDD16_janetldd@aol.com28_Tue, 8 Jan 2002 14:44:31 EST508_- My son's bar mitzvah will be postponed even though he is 8 years old. At his school if the bar mitzvah is done on a monday or thursday only the immediate family and first cousins can come and miss school. What happened was that too many bar mitzvahs were made on week days and the 7th grade class or 8th was missing too much school. Then if he has it on shabbat it is rosh hashanah. then what. Did anyone ever hear of a bar mitzvah on rosh hashana? His 2 sisters will be in college so his bar mitzvah [...] 1745 38 64_[SCJ-PARENTING:6686] RE: How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate12_Seth Rogovoy21_rogovoy@berkshire.net28_Tue, 8 Jan 2002 15:06:13 EST313_- > Our Religious School wants to celebrate each child's Hebrew birthdate but > we're pretty sure that a lot of people won't know what it is. Does anyone > know of a computer program where you can put in someone's English date and > it will give you the equivalent Hebrew birthdate (preferably shareware!!)? [...] 1784 28 64_[SCJ-PARENTING:6687] Re: How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate8_JanetLDD16_janetldd@aol.com28_Tue, 8 Jan 2002 15:06:31 EST421_- there are books that have this information in it. in order to find out the true hebrew date the child must know where and what time they were born.

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...] 1813 77 64_[SCJ-PARENTING:6689] Re: How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate17_Aliza N. Fischman28_fisch.chips@worldnet.att.net28_Tue, 8 Jan 2002 18:35:00 EST289_- In the back of Encyclopedia Judaica there is one. Also, if you have a Palm Pilot, you can download Tamar for free, or Luach for $20 a year. Just remember when looking up a date that if the person was born after sunset of the English date, you need to go on to the next Hebrew date. [...] 1891 59 64_[SCJ-PARENTING:6690] Re: How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate13_Bernie Hirsch20_bernie06@sprynet.com28_Tue, 8 Jan 2002 22:59:37 EST623_- This site has a Gregorian Date to Jewish Calendar:

http://www.jewishgen.org/jos/josdates.htm

Sales at Judaica For Kids wrote:

> Our Religious School wants to celebrate each child's Hebrew birthdate but > we're pretty sure that a lot of people won't know what it is. Does anyone > know of a computer program where you can put in someone's English date and > it will give you the equivalent Hebrew birthdate (preferably shareware!!)? > > By the way, thanks to the poster who started the string on whether we should > celebrate our Hebrew Birthdate vs. English Birthdate (sorry, I can't > remember [...] 1951 71 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6691] Jewish Kids locked out of Sports teams10_animzmirot20_animzmirot@attbi.com28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 08:47:37 EST538_- My son is extremly athletic and wants to play on a team. He's 9. He made = the basketball team at our local school, but the games were on Saturday = morning, so without even talking to me, he told the coach he couldn't play. Then he made the football team, and the same thing happened. All the games were on Saturday morning. So he's been dying for Little League signups. There are two little league teams he is eligible to play on. Both teams play all of their games on Saturday morning. I spoke to the parent coordinator tonight [...] 2023 63 64_[SCJ-PARENTING:6692] Re: How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate14_Irwin Margolin15_irmargo@att.net28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 08:57:46 EST358_- Check this website.

http://www.kaluach.net/

They offer a jewish calendar on their website. You can move foward or backward to check birthdates or plan future events. They also offer a version which you can download and customize to show personal dates of importance and shabbat/holiday candle lighting times as well as times for prayer. [...] 2087 74 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:6693] Re: Jewish Kids locked out of Sports teams15_Irene Bleiweiss16_IBLEIWEI@fcc.gov28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 14:41:04 EST347_- The Friday night/Saturday scheduling of most kids' activities has been a = big problem in our family too. For us, it goes way beyond the sports team = context that Marjorie raises. It has affected participation in music = (band) competition, art programs for the gifted, scouting, school family = fun activities, and of course baseball.=20 [...] 2162 137 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:6694] Re: Jewish Kids locked out of Sports teams14_Robyn Kozierok25_robynk@nautilus.shore.net28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 16:08:57 EST411_- In article , animzmirot wrote: >My son is extremly athletic and wants to play on a team. He's 9. He made = =3D >the >basketball team at our local school, but the games were on Saturday =3D >morning, >so without even talking to me, he told the coach he couldn't play. Then = he >made the football team, and the same thing happened.... [...] 2300 45 47_[SCJ-PARENTING:6695] utilities for Hebrew dates19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 16:25:17 EST339_-

Being an old UNIX hacker at heart, I've been using and loving Danny Sadinoff's hebcal utility for years. It gives you holiday dates for whatever year you like, candle-lighting times, yahrtzeit reminders, sedra of the week, havdalah times, etc., as well as doing conversions between Gregorian calendar dates and Hebrew ones. [...] 2346 52 53_[SCJ-PARENTING:6696] Jewish kids locked out of sports19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 18:52:12 EST305_-

Really a sucky situation. A couple of ideas and questions:

1) Your local JCC. Am not sure which one is your local one, but there's more than one in the Bay Area. I get the impression you'd be willing to drive a ways to get games on Sundays, so you might call the other JCCs and ask. [...] 2399 38 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6697] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 19:19:36 EST314_- robynk@nautilus.shore.net (Robyn Kozierok) wrote

> My husband's formal Bar Mitzvah was scheduled a couple of months after > his birthday to avoid the potential of occurring during a bad snowstorm. > Thus, even though he is 2 mos older than I, we had our Bar and Bat Mitzvahs > on the exact same day. [...] 2438 45 64_[SCJ-PARENTING:6698] Re: How to Figure Out Your Hebrew Birthdate17_David J. Grabiner29_grabiner@alumni.princeton.edu28_Wed, 9 Jan 2002 23:57:31 EST383_- "Sales at Judaica For Kids" writes:

> Our Religious School wants to celebrate each child's Hebrew birthdate but > we're pretty sure that a lot of people won't know what it is. Does anyone > know of a computer program where you can put in someone's English date and > it will give you the equivalent Hebrew birthdate (preferably shareware!!)? [...] 2484 74 66_[SCJ-PARENTING:6699] Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?10_Applecandy20_apeikong@hotmail.com29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 09:11:50 EST580_- Hello everybody,

I am a nearly-40-year-old unmarried American Jewish woman, who would love to be a mother, but who is not especially interested in marrying just for the sake of having children. I am currently seriously considering adopting a baby girl from China (I have contacts who could facilitate the process), to raise as a single mom (I am rather well off, so financial concerns are not an important issue). But I am having some doubts, because I want to raise my daughter Jewish. I would consider having my own baby as a single mother, but there is of course [...] 2559 47 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:6700] Re: Jewish Kids locked out of Sports teams15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 12:51:58 EST502_- "Irene Bleiweiss" wrote

> I think that the reason for the scheduling problem is mainly one of > convenience - - Saturday is a convenient day for most people to do > activities with their kids.

Partly, but there is also still an undercurrent of sanctification of Sunday - even though many people no longer go to church, there is a reluctance to schedule anything that might conflict with church attendance. Just listen to the radio programming on Sunday morning. [...] 2607 69 57_[SCJ-PARENTING:6701] Re: Jewish kids locked out of sports15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 14:14:24 EST573_- Alexandra J Schmidt wrote

> Really a sucky situation. A couple of ideas and questions:

Didn't see what you're responding to, but I assume it's about Saturday sports leagues:

> 1) Your local JCC. Am not sure which one is your local one, but there's > more than one in the Bay Area. I get the impression you'd be willing to > drive a ways to get games on Sundays, so you might call the other JCCs > and ask. > > 2) I don't know ANYTHING about how Little League works, but is there > any national/coordinating office [...] 2677 44 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6702] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?8_Splanche16_splanche@aol.com29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 14:55:13 EST569_- >Please help me figure this issue out. I would very much appreciate >any input as to how I could raise an ethnically-Chinese daughter in >Judaism, without any negative aspects.

Our Shul frequently has Asian children attending. I have even seen some at Chabad. I don't think that it's an issue at all. I have a young cousin who is dating a ethnically Korean boy now, and has been for about a year. All her parents cared about is that he was Jewish! (and then there's the story of another cousin, whose parents had never allowed her to date non-jews... she [...] 2722 38 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6703] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?27_Dr. Shlomo Argamon Engelson27_argamon@bimacs.cs.biu.ac.il29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 14:58:08 EST468_-

You may want to read "The Bamboo Cradle" which discusses a somewhat similar case of a couple who adopted a Chinese baby and raised her Jewish (and along the way became more Jewishly observant themselves). I know (in Jerusalem) several asian-descendent and african-descended converts and children of converts, and as far as I know, there's not too much fuss made over the fact. It may be geographical (Israel has a *wide* variety of Jews), I don't know. [...] 2761 52 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:6704] Re: Jewish Kids locked out of Sports teams15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 14:58:56 EST571_- "animzmirot" wrote

> how did you go about changing the system to accomodate Jewish children?

You don't. You switch systems.

> Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get the leagues to accomodate > Jewish children, or is this just a pipe dream.

Yes.

> At this point, I'd probably allow my child to play late afternoon on Shabbat, > just to let him play, but there isn't even that option. All games are at 10 > am, and we're in shul, plain and simple. The way this is going, my son is > going to view [...] 2814 40 51_[SCJ-PARENTING:6705] Re: utilities for Hebrew dates15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Thu, 10 Jan 2002 14:59:32 EST541_- Alexandra J Schmidt wrote

> Derech agav [by the way], while my traditional-egalitarian shul > formally recognizes bar/bat mitzvah status after the 13th Hebrew > birthday for both boys and girls, we had a case a few years ago where > the parents requested that their daughter celebrate her bat mitzvah > at 12. There were some elderly relatives who, it was feared, would > not live to see another year. As this is perfectly valid halachically, > the Ritual Committee gave it an instant thumbs-up. [...] 2855 79 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6706] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?15_Claire Petersky23_cpetersky@earthlink.net29_Fri, 11 Jan 2002 00:28:41 EST379_- > I wonder about the prospects of raising an ethnically Chinese daughter > as a Jew. My own mother was a convert (from Presbyterian > Christianity), and once people at our synagogue (Conservative, and > probably more towards the Reform spectrum than Orthodox, since it > allowed women on the bima) learned that she had not been born Jewish, > a lot of people shunned her. [...] 2935 39 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6707] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah14_Robyn Kozierok25_robynk@nautilus.shore.net29_Fri, 11 Jan 2002 10:07:28 EST608_- In article <20020108083744.12174.00000402@mb-fs.aol.com>, JanetLDD wrote: >Then if he has it on shabbat it is rosh hashanah. >then what. Did anyone ever hear of a bar mitzvah on rosh hashana?

My youngest brother's Bar Mitzvah was on the Shabbat between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but no, I've never heard of a non-Orthodox Bar Mitzvah on Rosh Hashanah. I've never heard of an Othodox one either, but that wouldn't surprise me too much. IME the Orthodox treat the Bar Mitzvah as more of a "rite of passage" that happens when it happens than a big party to be scheduled for [...] 2975 46 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:6709] Re: figuring out the date and readings for bar/bat mitzvah15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Fri, 11 Jan 2002 14:13:02 EST683_- In article , robynk@nautilus.shore.net (Robyn Kozierok) wrote:

>In article <20020108083744.12174.00000402@mb-fs.aol.com>, >JanetLDD wrote: >>Then if he has it on shabbat it is rosh hashanah. >>then what. Did anyone ever hear of a bar mitzvah on rosh hashana? > >My youngest brother's Bar Mitzvah was on the Shabbat between Rosh Hashanah >and Yom Kippur, but no, I've never heard of a non-Orthodox Bar Mitzvah on >Rosh Hashanah. I've never heard of an Othodox one either, but that wouldn't >surprise me too much. IME the Orthodox treat the Bar Mitzvah as more of >a "rite of passage" that happens when it happens [...] 3022 34 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:6710] Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 15950_16_DKerzner@aol.com29_Fri, 11 Jan 2002 14:13:52 EST539_- >once people at our synagogue learned that she had not >been born Jewish, > a lot of people shunned her. This was despite the fact that my mother > has been a very good Jew, and has truly embraced the religion as her > own.

I think the answer lies in your congregation. Pay attention to how people talk when you go the next few times. My sense is that for those people for whom Judaism is primarily ethnic, there is greater difficulty accepting those who have converted or who don't "look Jewish". This may also be more of a [...] 3057 165 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6711] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?10_animzmirot20_animzmirot@attbi.com29_Sat, 12 Jan 2002 09:41:08 EST631_-

"Applecandy" wrote in message news:27b45d87.0201100530.2c363257@posting.google.com... > Hello everybody, > > I am a nearly-40-year-old unmarried American Jewish woman, who would > love to be a mother, but who is not especially interested in marrying > just for the sake of having children. I am currently seriously > considering adopting a baby girl from China (I have contacts who could > facilitate the process), to raise as a single mom (I am rather well > off, so financial concerns are not an important issue). But I am > having some doubts, because I want to raise my daughter Jewish. I [...] 3223 78 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6712] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Sat, 12 Jan 2002 12:04:31 EST659_- In article <%Rq%7.20152$Vz3.2124282@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>, "Claire Petersky" wrote:

>> I wonder about the prospects of raising an ethnically Chinese daughter >> as a Jew. My own mother was a convert (from Presbyterian >> Christianity), and once people at our synagogue (Conservative, and >> probably more towards the Reform spectrum than Orthodox, since it >> allowed women on the bima) learned that she had not been born Jewish, >> a lot of people shunned her. > >I think this really depends on the community in which you are raising your >child. Race and ethnicity will matter the least I think to people [...] 3302 113 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6714] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?11_Steve Sklar17_les.sklar@noos.fr29_Sat, 12 Jan 2002 22:19:31 EST350_- > I wonder about the prospects of raising an ethnically Chinese daughter > as a Jew.

I think this really depends on the Jewish congregation or environment you frequent. Here's a random data point: my sister belongs to a reform congregation in Great Neck, NY. Their rabbi, who converted to Judaism as a youngster (I think), is Japanese. [...] 3416 67 70_[SCJ-PARENTING:6715] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child as a Jew?10_Applecandy20_apeikong@hotmail.com29_Sun, 13 Jan 2002 08:41:47 EST550_- Thank you everybody for your helpful replies. I am certainly going to get a copy of The Bamboo Cradle, and I appreciate your anecdotal evidence of people who have successfully raised their adopted Asian children as Jews. There are, however, one or two things that still concern me.

First of all, there seems to be, in many of the replies, an assumption that I would be raising my daughter as an Orthodox Jew, and this is not something that I am sure of. While I do have strong faith in G-d as my creator, I was raised in a conservative [...] 3484 89 55_[SCJ-PARENTING:6716] adopting a non-Western child (fwd)0_17_bdlerner@JTSA.EDU29_Sun, 13 Jan 2002 09:15:26 EST499_- Dear Friends

Please note that I am now using bdlerner1@home.com as my primary email address and would prefer to post from that address. How would I go about that? Secondly, please accept the posting below. Thanks

Dov

*********************************************************************** Barry Dov Lerner JTSA M.H.L 1969 RABBI 1970 D.D. 1996

MAILING ADDRESS: President Foundation for Family Education, Inc. POBox 143 Wyncote, Pennsylvania 19095-0143 215-572-5974 [...] 3574 187 75_[SCJ-PARENTING:6717] Re: Raising a non-Western adopted child without a dad?6_Jfer P17_J3fer@hotmail.com29_Mon, 14 Jan 2002 09:23:45 EST419_- Rivkah:

I'm afraid I must disagree with your stated priorities. You say Judaism = is important to you -- but also that you're hoping to bring a baby into a fatherless home solely out of your DESIRE to be a parent. Now, I'm sure you'd be a good parent -- and let me also clarify that I am a divorced single mother, doing what I consider to be a great job. But even "doing = my best" doesn't make me a dad. [...] 3762 51 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6718] Re: adopting a non-Western child (fwd)15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Mon, 14 Jan 2002 20:55:28 EST618_- In article <1010890124scjp-submit@shamash.org>, bdlerner@JTSA.EDU wrote:



>I'd like to offer an observation over the course of many years in the >pulpit and doing youth work on a national and regional level as well as the >local scene. We are now seeing - at least in my experience in the >Conservative movement - young people in our youth convention and summer >programs, camps and day schools on a regular basis who are children of the >rainbow. What used to be simply Ashkenazi or Sefardi is now a full range of >racial and bi-racial children who share a common religious heritage which >holds [...] 3814 70 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:6719] b'nai mitzvah obligations19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com29_Tue, 15 Jan 2002 08:53:04 EST533_-

Last week I mentioned:=20

> Derech agav [by the way], while my traditional-egalitarian shul formally > recognizes bar/bat mitzvah status after the 13th Hebrew birthday for=20 > both boys and girls, we had a case a few years ago where the parents=20 > requested that their daughter celebrate her bat mitzvah at 12. There=20 > were some elderly relatives who, it was feared, would not live to see=20 > another year. As this is perfectly valid halachically, the Ritual=20 > Committee gave it an instant thumbs-up. [...] 3885 67 44_[SCJ-PARENTING:6720] Adoption of Asian Child19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com29_Tue, 15 Jan 2002 15:55:57 EST543_-

> Another complication, which I did not mention before (not being sure I > would get such a positive response from you all!), is that I am actually > living in China right now, and probably will be for the foreseeable > future, although there is a small possibility that I might return to > America when my daughter is still fairly small. I wonder how not being > involved in a Jewish community, at least during the early years, would > be detrimental, as I am nowhere Beijing or Hong Kong, which are the only > places in China [...] 3953 34 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:6721] Re: b'nai mitzvah obligations5_Yoxar13_yoxar@aol.com29_Wed, 16 Jan 2002 08:55:28 EST489_-





> As this is perfectly valid halachically

According to halacha, a girl becomes obligated at twelve and attempts to = change this misses the point of the purpose of a bar/bas mitzva.=20

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...] 3988 46 48_[SCJ-PARENTING:6722] RE: adoption of Asian child8_Splanche16_splanche@aol.com29_Wed, 16 Jan 2002 11:52:53 EST351_- >> Another complication, which I did not mention before (not being sure I >> would get such a positive response from you all!), is that I am actually >> living in China right now, and probably will be for the foreseeable >> future, although there is a small possibility that I might return to >> America when my daughter is still fairly small. [...] 4035 32 55_[SCJ-PARENTING:6723] Sleep-Away Camp Suggestions Wanted9_chsw1060517_chsw10605@att.net29_Wed, 16 Jan 2002 18:04:42 EST505_- Need suggestions for a sleep-away camp. My son will be nine next summer. I would like to find a camp that will allow a one-week or two-week stay. Kosher only. Within a three hour drive of NYC preferred. Thank you.

CW



============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...] 4068 76 48_[SCJ-PARENTING:6724] Re: adoption of Asian child15_Claire Petersky23_cpetersky@earthlink.net29_Wed, 16 Jan 2002 23:42:51 EST679_- "Splanche" wrote in message news:20020116102213.13554.00002729@mb-fo.aol.com...

I didn't understand your response at all, so I hope I you will clarify.

> Will she be allowed to play with the other children?

Ie, would a Chinese-born child living in Britain/US/Canada (don't know exactly where the original poster lives)not be allowed to play with other children? Because she is Chinese? Because she's being raised Jewish? I don't get this at all. All children around this neighborhood get to play with all other children. It doesn't matter that Linor was born in Israel, or Daniel's parents are Korean, or that Allison's parents are [...] 4145 73 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6725] Re: Sleep-Away Camp Suggestions Wanted10_animzmirot20_animzmirot@attbi.com29_Thu, 17 Jan 2002 08:45:24 EST359_-

"chsw10605" wrote in message news:mmm18.105295$fe1.1563722@bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net... > Need suggestions for a sleep-away camp. My son will be nine next summer. I > would like to find a camp that will allow a one-week or two-week stay. > Kosher only. Within a three hour drive of NYC preferred. Thank you. > > CW [...] 4219 57 48_[SCJ-PARENTING:6726] Re: adoption of Asian child8_Splanche16_splanche@aol.com29_Thu, 17 Jan 2002 08:47:23 EST539_- >Splanche, your post really puzzled me. Either I completely misunderstood the >original post, or you did. > >-- >Warm Regards, > >Claire Petersky (cpetersky@yahoo.com)





The original poster (at least the way I read it) first asked about an Asian child in a western jewish environment. Then (again, how I read it) she admitted that she probably would be staying in China with the Child and that there was only a small possiblility of her returning to America while the child was still small. What she wrote was: [...] 4277 27 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:6727] Re: Sleep-Away Camp Suggestions Wanted8_JanetLDD16_janetldd@aol.com29_Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:18:30 EST581_- i would recommend camp ramah. they may do that length of stay for that age.

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields.

ACKs are handled by an autoresponder. Munged From:/Reply-To: means no ACKs. Use "X-Ack-To: address" to redirect ACKs; it won't show up in the final post. Use "X-Ack-To: none" to suppress Acks. "X-Ack-To:" goes on a line by itself. 4305 34 42_[SCJ-PARENTING:6728] Bkack jewish children16_Monica McCormick15_emunah@pinn.net29_Thu, 17 Jan 2002 11:56:19 EST285_- Does anyone know any sites i might go to on the subject. I would also like to find a site that has hebrew they can practice on = line. we have converted alittle over 2 years now and hebrew school is not = working for them they both have add/adhd. any help would be great monica [...] 4340 69 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:6729] Fw: Gifts for Baby-Naming9_Dan Brown21_brown@greenonions.com29_Thu, 17 Jan 2002 16:11:01 EST369_- Hello! Daniel Faigin suggested I email you to find out the answer to my question: What do I get parents for a baby-naming ceremony?

Thanks, -- Dan Brown

----- Original Message ----- From: "Daniel P Faigin" To: "Dan Brown" Sent: Wednesday, January 02, 2002 11:08 AM Subject: Re: Gifts for Baby-Naming [...] 4410 37 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:6730] Re: Bkack jewish children15_Hillary Israeli19_hillary@hillary.net29_Thu, 17 Jan 2002 17:02:02 EST240_- In , Monica McCormick wrote:

*Does anyone know any sites i might go to on the subject.

You might check out http://www.blackandjewish.com/bajpages/bajindex.html

4448 96 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:6731] Re: Fw: Gifts for Baby-Naming14_Sharon Finberg16_sfinberg@usa.net29_Fri, 18 Jan 2002 10:06:45 EST272_- Our daughter was named about two months ago - we didn't get any gifts for that per se, just baby gifts like outsifts and toys. But we did get a hand-made child size kepah for her (we go to a Reform synagogue, and many women there wear kepot). That was rather neat. [...] 4545 64 48_[SCJ-PARENTING:6732] Re: Adoption of Asian Child14_Betsy Schwartz16_betsys@shore.net29_Sat, 19 Jan 2002 13:32:43 EST670_-

"Claire Petersky" writes:

> The second group is left-wingers who understand their Jewish identity > coming from social action as opposed to ethnicity. They may have some > experience in multi-ethnic coalitions for peace and/or justice, have had to > confront their own racism 50,000 (at least :-)!) times, and are generally > pretty accepting of people who look different from themselves. > This sounds like our community! Our shul describes itself as "independant and egalitarian with roots in the conservative movement". Our ritual is very traditional but our community is very diverse - we have families from different [...] 4610 66 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:6733] re : Need advice re: Bris6_Lauren33_richard@the-third.freeserve.co.uk29_Tue, 22 Jan 2002 10:25:00 EST519_- >> While I personally agree that a bris should be held, there are reasons >> people choose not to. One is cost, which despite what people claim, is quite >> high for a mohel and the simcha food and drink. >> >> Another is family. I have a friend who is Jewish (raised C, educated at >> SSDS) who married a very secular Jewish man, a scientist, who refused to >> have a bris for either of their sons. The boys were both circ'ed in the >> hospital, but because the husband is so rabidly secular, they won't have a [...]