1 SHAMASH.ORG /usr/www/wwwhc/listserv/archives/scj-parenting February 2000 2 66 34_[SCJ-PARENTING:4903] odd situation3_mst16_terihu@homey.com28_Wed, 2 Feb 2000 16:15:46 EST509_- Is it at all possible for a child (9 years old) to be Jewish when neither parent is Jewish?

My son wants to learn about Judaism, because his paternal great-grandfather was Jewish, but he currently has no close relatives who can teach him anything substantial about it (a great-uncle five states over is the only Jewish family member left). My husband, while encouraging towards my son's curiosity, is not interested in exploring his Jewish heritage for himself, and I have no Jewish background. [...] 69 84 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4904] Re: odd situation0_15_fredr5@juno.com28_Wed, 2 Feb 2000 18:21:23 EST626_- In article <1MTl4.22593$Fb1.474594@news1.frmt1.sfba.home.com>, "mst" wrote:

> Is it at all possible for a child (9 years old) to be Jewish when neither > parent is Jewish? > > My son wants to learn about Judaism, because his paternal great-grandfather > was Jewish, but he currently has no close relatives who can teach him > anything substantial about it (a great-uncle five states over is the only > Jewish family member left). My husband, while encouraging towards my son's > curiosity, is not interested in exploring his Jewish heritage for himself, > and I have no Jewish background. > > [...] 154 36 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4906] Re: odd situation9_Rosenugga17_rosenugga@aol.com28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 01:40:40 EST528_- I would suggest finding a local synagogue and see if the Rabbi would be willing to speak to him and if he could attend services.

According to Orthodox Halakah, (to the best of my knowledge) a child is not considered Jewish unless the mother is Jewish. I believe though on his 13th birthday though he could covert to Judaism along with his bar mitzvah. My husband recommend he start studying now if a conversion is what he might want at that time. A conservative or reform synagogue might do things slightly differently. 191 100 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4907] Re: odd situation10_PBethWeiss18_pbethweiss@aol.com28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 09:15:07 EST458_- Teri;=20 I think it is wonderful that you are honoring and supporting your son's interest! I think that speaks for what kinds of parents you and your = husband are.

Judaism is not a proselytizing religion. Conversion is never pressed on non-Jews- quite the opposite. You should not encounter pressure of this = type in your search- and if you do, be very, very wary. You may not be dealing = with Jews in that case, but another group entirely. [...] 292 84 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4908] Re: odd situation5_Karla16_karla@ntcorp.com28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 09:52:17 EST545_- First of all, what a wonderful thing it is to see a parent give their child the freedom to explore like that.

When I was going through the conversion process I spent some time with an Orthodox Rabbi in the area. After we spent an afternoon chatting and finding out where I stood with things, he told me that as he was studying for the rabbinate, they covered what to do when someone wants to convert. He said the Rabbi teaching them at the time said, "When someone comes to you about conversion remember: some of us G-d trusted to [...] 377 73 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:4909] Jews, kids, and violence13_S Silverstein28_ssilverstein@mba1990.hbs.edu28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 10:51:35 EST552_- Ok, I've posted on this before (around Hanukah), but it's a never ending theme in my household. My 3 yr old boys is obsessed with "pointy things" (I haven't taught him the proper words for all the manners of knives, swords, lances, daggers, spears, etc., well you get the idea). And he constantly asks to hear the stories of Hanukah, Purim, and Pesach -- especially the violent parts -- which believe me, I've toned down as much as possible. Like I don't really get into the death parts. I just leave at "really bad owies." Is that a mistake? I [...] 451 78 53_[SCJ-PARENTING:4910] Re: Newish Jewish tunes for kids13_S Silverstein28_ssilverstein@mba1990.hbs.edu28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 10:52:09 EST437_- There's one that is taught at the preschoolers' "mini-minyan" we go to and we usually sing this one rather sleepily in the am:

Mod eh/ah ani lefanecha, We say these words each and every day. Because although we wake ourselves from sleep It is HaShem who brings another day.



And the interactive: I've got a shabbat feeling ...here in my hands ... up in my heart ... deep in my heart deep in my heart today... [...] 530 64 52_[SCJ-PARENTING:4913] suggestions for "odd situation"19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 12:45:51 EST501_-

Like several other posters, I too am impressed at Teri's supportive attitude. [That said, I can't help wondering if we'd have the same response if the child of Jewish parents had a deep interest in, say, going to Catholic Mass or wearing ashes on Ash Wednesday.]

Whether her son's interest is triggered by a different and deep culture, or whether he feels deep stirrings that this is where=20 he belongs spiritually remains to be seen, but here are some book=20 suggestions. =20 [...] 595 138 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4914] RE: odd situation11_Dan Mandell19_dmandell@truman.edu28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 15:48:47 EST455_- Dear Teri (and List):

First of all, rules adopted by the Reform movement recognize the child of a Jewish parent (instead of only the mother) as Jewish, IF the child demonstrates interest and dedication. So, in official terms, is there an unbroken line of Jewish descent from your husband to his grandfather-i.e., was your husband's father Jewish? If so, your son is precisely the reason the Reform movement adopted these more liberal rules. [...] 734 36 56_[SCJ-PARENTING:4915] Re: suggestions for "odd situation"15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 15:50:35 EST395_- In article <200002031720.MAA03010@gematria.crd.ge.com>, Alexandra J Schmidt wrote:

>Like several other posters, I too am impressed at Teri's supportive >attitude. [That said, I can't help wondering if we'd have the same >response if the child of Jewish parents had a deep interest in, say, >going to Catholic Mass or wearing ashes on Ash Wednesday.] [...] 771 35 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:4916] Re: Purim Ideas Needed13_S Silverstein28_ssilverstein@mba1990.hbs.edu28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 23:07:34 EST556_- At 03:36 AM 1/22/00 -0500, animzmirot@aol.comspamfree wrote: >If your shul does a costume judging >contest, can you describe how it is done?

In my experience contests of this sort do little more than to make many children upset and make a few (the winners happy). Esp. if your congregation has a lot of little children, I highly recommend that you buy a bunch of little treats and hand them out to everyone in costume who marches by the gift collecting station. Same $ on presents, lots more fun. S Silverstein [...] 807 60 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4917] Re: odd situation16_Evelyn C. Leeper35_eleeper@starship.dnrc.bell-labs.com28_Thu, 3 Feb 2000 23:09:08 EST613_- In article <1MTl4.22593$Fb1.474594@news1.frmt1.sfba.home.com>, mst wrote: > Is it at all possible for a child (9 years old) to be Jewish when neither > parent is Jewish? > > My son wants to learn about Judaism, because his paternal great-grandfather > was Jewish, but he currently has no close relatives who can teach him > anything substantial about it (a great-uncle five states over is the only > Jewish family member left). My husband, while encouraging towards my son's > curiosity, is not interested in exploring his Jewish heritage for himself, > and I have no Jewish background. [...] 868 37 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4918] RE: odd situation8_Splanche16_splanche@aol.com28_Fri, 4 Feb 2000 09:55:32 EST533_- A previous poster suggested Camp Ramah, which I think would be fine if the = boy had some jewish upbringing, but may make him feel even more like an = outsider without. How about a camp run by a local JCC? I'm not sure where you're located, but our local one in Rochester NY has a great camp in the finger = lakes region of NY. There are frequently non-jewish children, and there is a = sense of religion (sabbath services, kashruth observed, a few Israeli staff, etc) = but it would not be overwhelming for a child who isn't [...] 906 63 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4919] Re: odd situation3_mst16_terihu@homey.com28_Fri, 4 Feb 2000 19:43:05 EST601_- Thanks to all for your encouragement and suggestions. I will compile a list of the books and head back to the library...it's much less daunting when you have a roadmap.

There is a small but prominent Jewish population in our community, but since we have not been here for very long, it would be awkward to just barge into this with the few Jewish families we know casually. Ironically, we've been invited to a number of Christian events which we declined because they were obviously conversion attempts. We've also just learned the location of the neighborhood temple, sadly, because it [...] 970 79 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4920] Re: odd situation18_Naomi Lynne Pardue29_npardue@steel.ucs.indiana.edu28_Mon, 7 Feb 2000 09:25:14 EST565_- mst wrote: > Is it at all possible for a child (9 years old) to be Jewish when = neither > parent is Jewish?

> My son wants to learn about Judaism, because his paternal great-grandfath= er > was Jewish, but he currently has no close relatives who can teach him > anything substantial about it (a great-uncle five states over is the = only > Jewish family member left). My husband, while encouraging towards my = son's > curiosity, is not interested in exploring his Jewish heritage for = himself, > and I have no Jewish background. [...] 1050 65 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4921] Re: odd situation0_19_mpeskin@my-deja.com28_Mon, 7 Feb 2000 22:10:12 EST528_- In article <87f8hn$c0n$1@flotsam.uits.indiana.edu>, Naomi Lynne Pardue wrote: > > You'd have to check with individual camps about whether or not they accept > non-Jewish children. I think though that, at THIS point, camp probably > wouldn't be a good option. Jewish camps generally work on the assumption > that the child already has at least some background and knowlege, and he'd > probably be uncomfortable spending his summer with a bunch of kids who > know SO much more than he does. [...] 1116 41 55_[SCJ-PARENTING:4922] Camp Ramah (was re: odd situation)19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Mon, 7 Feb 2000 22:13:33 EST501_-

Reading my trio of weekly Jewish newspapers this past weekend, I saw two articles indicating that this year, for the first time, Camp Ramah was putting a letter into its annual mailing to parents of campers noting that Ramah is open only to children born to a natively Jewish woman or a woman who has converted according to halacha. (I believe it also indicated that children who had themselves halachically converted were welcome--don't remember for sure--I would assume and hope so.) [...] 1158 86 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4923] Re: odd situation0_20_petersky@my-deja.com28_Mon, 7 Feb 2000 22:51:13 EST366_- In article <1MTl4.22593$Fb1.474594@news1.frmt1.sfba.home.com>, "mst" wrote:

> My son wants to learn about Judaism, because his paternal great- > grandfather was Jewish, but he currently has no close relatives who > can teach him anything substantial about it (a great-uncle five > states over is the only Jewish family member left). [...] 1245 107 47_[SCJ-PARENTING:4924] Re: DAVID & GOLIATH? Help!27_Jonathan and Leonora Samuel16_email@addr.below28_Tue, 8 Feb 2000 09:11:19 EST547_- I don't think it would matter much if you followed the picture, as no-one knows what David would have worn, really.

Certainly either sandals or bear feet but I think the style of the sandal straps in the picture look a bit Roman to me.

I would take a look at what Bedouin arab boys wear when herding sheep or goats. I think they tend to cover up a bit more than that, have more of a sun-tan and don't usually have expensive metal arm-bands and belts and knives. He would have the sling-shot though. Maybe a sheep-skin wrap? I [...] 1353 162 49_[SCJ-PARENTING:4925] Re: Jews, kids, and violence27_Jonathan and Leonora Samuel16_email@addr.below28_Tue, 8 Feb 2000 09:15:19 EST574_- MODERATOR'S NOTE: This post is being allowed as a follow-up to a message about violence as a Jewish parenting concern. If you post a reply, please ensure that your message remains on the subject of Jewish approaches to violence and children.

> I worry about my (older) kids palying violent computer games, too. > I think your son sounds pretty "normal". I should get him that spongy sword. Maybe enroll him for judo (where aggression is disciplined and channelled). > Someone said to me, and I think it is true : > Violence is a very important issue for kids, [...] 1516 148 49_[SCJ-PARENTING:4926] Re: Jews, kids, and violence5_Karla16_karla@ntcorp.com28_Tue, 8 Feb 2000 10:35:43 EST397_- S Silverstein wrote:

> Ok, I've posted on this before (around Hanukah), but it's a never ending > theme in my household. My 3 yr old boys is obsessed with "pointy things"

What is it about boys and pointy things? My mother never understood it (in spite of raising three boys) and neither do I in spite of raising two boys and having stood in front of a second grade classroom. [...] 1665 49 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:4927] Regional Announce: wonderful book sale19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Tue, 8 Feb 2000 20:49:01 EST494_-

[Am not sure if this is on-charter or not, happy to go with moderator's opinion.]

>From February 6-21, Yeshiva University is having its annual seforim sale--an extraordinary selection of Jewish (mostly) books, music, and CDs at prices well below anything I have ever seen in bookstores (including online bookstores, though much of what's offered here you couldn't find on Amazon anyhow). The selection of Hebrew and English children's books and music is also outstanding. [...] 1715 182 49_[SCJ-PARENTING:4928] Re: Jews, kids, and violence13_Adelle Stavis30_Nospamcuthbertson@mediaone.net28_Tue, 8 Feb 2000 20:55:14 EST586_- What a great response! Very well thought out and on topic!!

I'm definitely going to try some of the suggestions, and violence isn't an issue (yet - my boy is only 2) in our house.

Thanks Karla!

Adelle Stavis "Karla" wrote in message news:38A03673.329A5590@ntcorp.com... > S Silverstein wrote: > > > Ok, I've posted on this before (around Hanukah), but it's a never ending > > theme in my household. My 3 yr old boys is obsessed with "pointy things" > > What is it about boys and pointy things? My mother never understood it > (in spite of [...] 1898 52 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4929] Re: odd situation18_Naomi Lynne Pardue29_npardue@steel.ucs.indiana.edu28_Tue, 8 Feb 2000 20:56:40 EST570_- mpeskin@my-deja.com wrote: >> that the child already has at least some background and knowlege, and > he'd >> probably be uncomfortable spending his summer with a bunch of kids who >> know SO much more than he does.

> I strongly disagree with the above statement. Yes, SOME Jewish camps > assume that the campers have a background and knowledge of Judaism, but > others do not. There are camps in my area that advertise themselves as > Jewish but have little to no Jewish content. They don't even offer > Kosher meals as an alternative. They do not assume [...] 1951 66 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:4930] Re: Camp Ramah (was re: odd situation)10_Animzmirot26_animzmirot@aol.comspamfree28_Wed, 9 Feb 2000 00:39:37 EST502_- > >Reading my trio of weekly Jewish newspapers this past weekend, I saw >two articles indicating that this year, for the first time, Camp Ramah >was putting a letter into its annual mailing to parents of campers >noting that Ramah is open only to children born to a natively Jewish >woman or a woman who has converted according to halacha. (I believe >it also indicated that children who had themselves halachically converted >were welcome--don't remember for sure--I would assume and hope so.) [...] 2018 41 38_[SCJ-PARENTING:4931] Re: odd situation10_Animzmirot26_animzmirot@aol.comspamfree28_Wed, 9 Feb 2000 00:39:49 EST436_- > >Thanks for correcting that. I have not yet had any personal experience >with Jewish camps (Shaina has been too young up until now, and we can't >possibly afford it anyway...), but the brochures I've looked at for the >camps in our area all seem to suggest that there is a lot of Jewish >content, meaning that a child of the age to attend them WOULD be assumed >to have some prior knowlege of, and comfort with, Jewish life. > [...] 2060 133 49_[SCJ-PARENTING:4932] Re: Jews, kids, and violence21_Natalie Kim Bjorklund24_umbjork1@cc.UManitoba.CA28_Wed, 9 Feb 2000 08:29:03 EST572_- In article <38A03673.329A5590@ntcorp.com> you write: >S Silverstein wrote: > >> Ok, I've posted on this before (around Hanukah), but it's a never ending >> theme in my household. My 3 yr old boys is obsessed with "pointy things"

I am going to handle this from the perspective of a mother of two boys in their teens now. One of my boys was very much into pointy things. When we tried banning guns he found/made/imagined them in everything. We took away the pop gun and gave him lego because it encouraged creativity and what is his first lego project? A gun. [...] 2194 119 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:4933] Re: Camp Ramah (was re: odd situation)19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com28_Wed, 9 Feb 2000 18:03:25 EST549_-

I originally wrote:

>> Reading my trio of weekly Jewish newspapers this past weekend, I saw >> two articles indicating that this year, for the first time, Camp Ramah >> was putting a letter into its annual mailing to parents of campers >> noting that Ramah is open only to children born to a natively Jewish >> woman or a woman who has converted according to halacha. (I believe >> it also indicated that children who had themselves halachically converted >> were welcome--don't remember for sure--I would assume and hope so.) [...] 2314 38 42_[SCJ-PARENTING:4935] Taking Kids to Israel0_16_NinaSalk@aol.com29_Sun, 13 Feb 2000 10:44:13 EST467_- We are taking our sons, ages 7 and 13 to Israel for a week of mostly Jerusalem-based touring, visiting, and exploring. It's our 13 year old's third trip, and our 7 year old's first. We want to balance seeing the major and obvious sites with some offbeat and less well known places. We will not have a car but are totally comfortable taking buses and taxis. We also would appreciate suggestions of child-friendly, picky-eater friendly restaurants in Jerusalem. [...] 2353 38 59_[SCJ-PARENTING:4936] Jewish computer games for preschoolers13_S Silverstein28_ssilverstein@mba1990.hbs.edu29_Mon, 14 Feb 2000 09:22:21 EST417_- Can any of you recommend any good Jewish computer games for preschoolers?

The stuff I've seen is really rinky dink or clearly for older kids. English-Hebrew would be best, but something Israeli at the preschool level could be ok too.

Academic-type (like Jump Start Preschool) would be ok -- he knows the alephbeit and Hebrew numbers to 10, but would enjoy a preschool level game that teaches it. [...] 2392 63 42_[SCJ-PARENTING:4937] Taking Kids to Israel16_Benjamin Hurwitz20_hurwitz@blaze.net.au29_Mon, 14 Feb 2000 10:26:32 EST394_- NinaSalk@aol.com wrote:

> We are taking our sons, ages 7 and 13 to Israel for a week of mostly > Jerusalem-based touring, visiting, and exploring. It's our 13 year > old's third trip, and our 7 year old's first. We want to balance seeing > the major and obvious sites with some offbeat and less well known > places. We will not have a car but are totally comfortable taking buses [...] 2456 90 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4938] Re: Taking Kids to Israel11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Mon, 14 Feb 2000 10:49:41 EST359_- I am jealous!!!!

Give this guy a call-- he is my "uncle" (old family friend, from my first trip 30+ years ago) and he is a tour guide with his own car-- he can really, really help you out!

His name is Mundek Schreiber and his number is 03-6724427.

Tell him the Abrams' referred him! He speaks remarkable British flavoured English. [...] 2547 74 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:4939] Re: Jewish computer games for preschoolers11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Mon, 14 Feb 2000 12:28:59 EST586_- hi-- check out RIVKA TEACHES HEBREW by transparent language. their web site is www.transparent.com.

Alan

S Silverstein wrote:

> Can any of you recommend any good Jewish computer games for preschoolers? > > The stuff I've seen is really rinky dink or clearly for older kids. > English-Hebrew would be best, but something Israeli at the preschool level > could be ok too. > > Academic-type (like Jump Start Preschool) would be ok -- he knows the > alephbeit and Hebrew numbers to 10, but would enjoy a preschool level game > that teaches it. > > In English he [...] 2622 40 39_[SCJ-PARENTING:4940] Re: Computer Games2_JB19_dor_l_dor@Radix.Net29_Mon, 14 Feb 2000 12:31:00 EST92_- By the way, Dor L'Dor is now a .com

WWW.DORLDOR.COM

Thanks - Deborah

2663 38 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4941] Re: Taking Kids to Israel15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Mon, 14 Feb 2000 15:24:47 EST554_- In article , NinaSalk@aol.com wrote:

> We are taking our sons, ages 7 and 13 to Israel for a week of mostly > Jerusalem-based touring, visiting, and exploring. It's our 13 year > old's third trip, and our 7 year old's first. We want to balance seeing > the major and obvious sites with some offbeat and less well known > places. We will not have a car but are totally comfortable taking buses > and taxis. We also would appreciate suggestions of child-friendly, > picky-eater friendly restaurants in Jerusalem. [...] 2702 69 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4942] Re: Taking Kids to Israel19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com29_Tue, 15 Feb 2000 21:16:32 EST338_-

NinaSalk@aol.com wrote:

> We are taking our sons, ages 7 and 13 to Israel for a week of mostly > Jerusalem-based touring, visiting, and exploring. It's our 13 year > old's third trip, and our 7 year old's first. We want to balance seeing > the major and obvious sites with some offbeat and less well known > places. [...] 2772 29 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4943] Children's Computer Games5_Debbi17_daffymom@home.com29_Wed, 16 Feb 2000 08:57:49 EST479_- Someone wanted computer games for children that helped with the alef bet. I just got my Source for Everything Jewish Catalog today and they have several games starting with games for toddlers.

Debbi

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...] 2802 60 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4944] b'nai mitzvah preparation19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com29_Thu, 17 Feb 2000 16:48:03 EST424_-

I would be curious to get a cross-section sense of how different congregations of varying sizes handle the task of b'nai mitzvah training for their young adults. (By b'nai mitzvah training I mean haftorah chanting, Torah leyning, making sure the student can lead some combination of Shacharit/Torah service/Musaf. I realize that different congregations may do different things here--tell me what yours does!) [...] 2863 94 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4945] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation17_Lynne Fitzsimmons25_lynnef@mdhost.cse.tek.com29_Fri, 18 Feb 2000 08:42:58 EST480_-



Alexandra J Schmidt wrote:

> I would be curious to get a cross-section sense of how different > congregations of varying sizes handle the task of b'nai mitzvah training > for their young adults. (By b'nai mitzvah training I mean haftorah chanting, > Torah leyning, making sure the student can lead some combination of > Shacharit/Torah service/Musaf. I realize that different congregations > may do different things here--tell me what yours does!) > [...] 2958 113 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4946] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Fri, 18 Feb 2000 09:21:04 EST478_-



Alexandra J Schmidt wrote: >=20 > I would be curious to get a cross-section sense of how different > congregations of varying sizes handle the task of b'nai mitzvah training > for their young adults. (By b'nai mitzvah training I mean haftorah = chanting, > Torah leyning, making sure the student can lead some combination of > Shacharit/Torah service/Musaf. I realize that different congregations > may do different things here--tell me what yours does!) [...] 3072 37 55_[SCJ-PARENTING:4947] Re: Hebrew for very young children0_20_sflaster@my-deja.com29_Sat, 19 Feb 2000 17:30:16 EST562_- I'm a little late posting here because I just discovered this discussion group. But I wandered into a Jewish book store recently and found that they had a huge selection of audio and video tapes for children. From Barney and Elmo to Uzi Chitman. I bought one Uzi Chitman video because it had Hebrew, English and transliteration in the subtitles. The music is so good, and the visuals, too, that I keep singing the songs in my head. It is called Shirim K'tanim. My 13 month old loves it. I suggest going to a religious Jewish neighborhood and checking out [...] 3110 45 41_[SCJ-PARENTING:4948] New Jersey playgroup0_18_sflaster@yahoo.com29_Sat, 19 Feb 2000 18:37:18 EST625_-

[Moderator's Note: Please respond to the poster in email with any private contact information. Let's keep the 'net safe for all our children!]





Hi. I am interested in joining or forming a playgroup for my 13-month-old daughter Ariel. I am a stay-at-home mom who lives in Bergen County. I'd like her to socialize with other Jewish babies, preferably between 10-16 months of age. While the moms chat, the babies can play. I would even be interested in meeting at parks, zoos, malls, or restaurants. Just trying to keep my daughter busy busy busy...contact me if anyone is interested and we [...] 3156 53 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4949] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation5_Debbi17_daffymom@home.com29_Sat, 19 Feb 2000 18:55:14 EST447_- We are a rapidly growing reform congregation. Our students start Hebrew School in 3rd grade. Some like my special needs son, start in 4th grade in a special smaller class. The last year of Hebrew School is with the Rabbi's. The students are required to attend religious school while in Hebrew School (grades 3,4, & 5 go on Sunday) (grades 6,7, are on Wed). Students have to remain in relgious school through confirmation in the 10th grade. [...] 3210 78 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4950] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation5_kgold20_kgold@watson.ibm.com29_Sat, 19 Feb 2000 18:58:42 EST449_-

We are a small (50+ family) mixed congregation.

Our youth have a class every other Sunday morning, taught by our Rabbi. The B/B Mitzvah training is quite different from your definition.

Yes, the children learn to read Hebrew. They learn to chant their Torah portion, with less emphasis on Haftarah. I wonder why so many congregations stress Haftarah over Torah anyway? Personally, I find it a hard read even in English. [...] 3289 46 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4951] Re: Taking Kids to Israel10_I. Pour-El18_pourel@iastate.edu29_Sun, 20 Feb 2000 17:18:45 EST319_-

> >Any suggestions from people on this list? And any advice on preparing >a 7 year old for visiting Yad Vashem? I remember it being a very >difficult experience when our older son visited the children's memorial >at age 5. He was as upset at seeing *ME* upset as he was by the exhibit. >-- Nina Salkin > [...] 3336 41 54_[SCJ-PARENTING:4952] Appropriate gift for Bas Mitzvah?14_Risa Bernstein23_rbernstn@monumental.com29_Mon, 21 Feb 2000 10:09:48 EST470_- Hello -

We're going to a bas mitzvah in April. The mother is my best friend from when I was growing up, although we haven't been in contact for about 26 years until just recently. It's going to be a formal, black-tie affair. I'd like to give Paige a check and I've heard that $36 is often given, representing twice Chai ($18). Is this OK? I was thinking more like $50 but I thought that sounds like an awful lot for a 13 year old. Any help is appreciated! [...] 3378 70 31_[SCJ-PARENTING:4953] a question5_Karla16_karla@ntcorp.com29_Mon, 21 Feb 2000 12:46:39 EST570_- x-no-archive: yes

Reading some of the recent threads about intermarriage, b'nai mitzvah prep, etc., along with some changes at my congregation, has lead me to do some thinking. How many people out there have some sort of continuing religious ed program in their congregations for older kids and adults?

What also got me thinking was a very sudden shift in our RE program and what that means. At the meeting the other day, I proposed that an RE director should be concerned about the program for the entire synagogue, not just the children's school. [...] 3449 66 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4954] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Mon, 21 Feb 2000 12:46:57 EST546_- Wow, that sounds like such a lot of work for everyone involved. > > Students are encouraged to keep up their Torah reading after their Bar/Bat > Mitzvah.

Now this is a topic near and dear to my heart. How does your shul go about keeping those kids coming on Shabbat and participating as the adult member of the shul they've recently become? Do you have an specific suggestions/requirements? And of those many many b'nai mitzvah a shul of that size must see each year, how many of those kids are never seen again after the big date? [...] 3516 124 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4955] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Mon, 21 Feb 2000 20:29:54 EST517_- Okay---

NOW, here's THE question!!!

does anyone else find it entirely disconcerting that these kids (at our shul, anyway) get a cassette tape and MEMORIZE the whole thing?

in fact, i don't think that 20% of the kids bar mitzvahed at our shul can even read hebrew.

when i was a kid... not THAT long ago (bar mitzvah in '74), if we couldn't read torah and haftorah from trope, we weren't allowed to be called up! imho, that's the way it should be, but would like to hear from others. [...] 3641 76 35_[SCJ-PARENTING:4956] Re: a question16_Benjamin Hurwitz20_hurwitz@blaze.net.au29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 10:18:42 EST324_- Karla wrote:

> Reading some of the recent threads about intermarriage, b'nai mitzvah > prep, etc., along with some changes at my congregation, has lead me to > do some thinking. How many people out there have some sort of > continuing religious ed program in their congregations for older kids > and adults? > [...] 3718 43 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:4957] Re: Appropriate gift for Bas Mitzvah?12_Beth Katcher17_b.katcher@rcn.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 10:19:00 EST418_- In my experience, this is a very regional thing. In the Boston area, where I live now, $36 would be considered a nice gift -- but then again we never do black tie for a bat mitzvah! In NY, where most of my family lives, $36 is a little on the cheap side. In fact, when my daughter became bat mitzvah close friends of my mother (one generation up so maybe that counts for something?) gave more in the $75 range. [...] 3762 29 56_[SCJ-PARENTING:4958] Jewish adoption from Eastern Europe2_BW29_bwooster1@REMOVECAPSyahoo.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 10:20:50 EST661_- Does anyone know if there are any agencies (governmental or otherwise) dealing specifically with adopting Jewish children from Eastern Europe?=20

BW

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields.

ACKs are handled by an autoresponder. Munged From:/Reply-To: means no ACKs. Use "X-Ack-To: address" to redirect ACKs; it won't show up in the final post. Use "X-Ack-To: none" to suppress Acks. "X-Ack-To:" goes on a line by itself. 3792 85 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4959] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation21_Natalie Kim Bjorklund24_umbjork1@cc.UManitoba.CA29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 10:32:59 EST618_- In article <38B1E30F.7CD9CA90@usa.net>, Alan Abrams = wrote: >Okay--- > >NOW, here's THE question!!! > >does anyone else find it entirely disconcerting that these kids (at our shul, >anyway) get a cassette tape and MEMORIZE the whole thing?

This does happen occasionally at our shul but we actively discourage it. Sometimes the parents are not in any way involved in the community and they are very ignorant and simply want the big bash because Grandma and Grandpa think it is required. They don't leave enough preparation time and so this is the only way the kid can manage. They also [...] 3878 134 35_[SCJ-PARENTING:4960] Re: a question15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 11:37:38 EST346_-





x-no-archive: yes > > Reading some of the recent threads about intermarriage, b'nai mitzvah > prep, etc., along with some changes at my congregation, has lead me to > do some thinking. How many people out there have some sort of > continuing religious ed program in their congregations for older kids > and adults? [...] 4013 51 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4961] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation12_Beth Katcher17_b.katcher@rcn.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 12:04:44 EST537_- > Now this is a topic near and dear to my heart. How does your shul go > about keeping those kids coming on Shabbat and participating as the > adult member of the shul they've recently become?

Our shul has 2 techniques. (1) They have a low-key continuation of Hebrew School. It's called the Teen Connection for kids in 8th-12th grades. They go once every 2 weeks for 2 hours. The first 1/2 hour is dinner (usually pizza) and the rest of the time is broken out into two different "classes" with one of the rabbis or the USY [...] 4065 60 35_[SCJ-PARENTING:4962] Re: a question19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 12:22:34 EST589_-

> How many people out there have some sort of > continuing religious ed program in their congregations for older kids > and adults?

You might check out the Education link for my shul's web page (http://www.uscj.org/empire/schenectady). It subdivides into Hebrew School and Adult Ed. Not discussed is the local Midrasha, which is an evening set of courses and programs for post-b'nai-mitzvah teens-- this is put on jointly by the three Sch'dy synagogues (one O, one C, one R) and one C shul in a nearby town. I may have to talk to the Webbe (our webmaster, and my DH) [...] 4126 50 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4964] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 13:43:11 EST545_- In article <38B1E30F.7CD9CA90@usa.net>, aabrams@usa.net wrote:

> Okay--- > > NOW, here's THE question!!! > > does anyone else find it entirely disconcerting that these kids (at our shul, > anyway) get a cassette tape and MEMORIZE the whole thing? > > in fact, i don't think that 20% of the kids bar mitzvahed at our shul can even > read hebrew. > > when i was a kid... not THAT long ago (bar mitzvah in '74), if we couldn't > read torah and haftorah from trope, we weren't allowed to be called up! imho, > that's the way it should [...] 4177 68 46_[SCJ-PARENTING:4965] SCJ-PARENTING digest 113014_max_weisenfeld29_Max_Weisenfeld@compuserve.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 14:24:14 EST453_- Karla wrote: >How many people out there have some sort of continuing religious ed >program in their congregations for older kids and adults? [...] >I proposed that an RE director should be concerned about the program for >the entire synagogue, not just the children's school.

>It seems to me that there aren't a lot of programs for non-Orthodox >Jewish kids (or kids that don't go to a day school) to bridge those >years between B'nai.... [...] 4246 53 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4966] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation16_Evelyn C. Leeper35_eleeper@starship.dnrc.bell-labs.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 14:30:00 EST587_- In article <38B29A90.4B057BE2@rcn.com>, Beth Katcher wrote: > (2) Post-bar/bat mitzvah kids are invited to read Torah and are given > aliyot or honors. With a large synagogue like ours (1300 families) it's > hard to give out too many aliyot to kids! But they create opportunities. > For example, they will usually ask a teenager to hold the Torah during > the reading of the haftarah and then join the procession around the > sanctuary before returning the Torah to the ark. On High Holidays and > Purim they make a point of finding teenagers to read Torah or [...] 4300 75 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4967] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation17_Lynne Fitzsimmons25_lynnef@mdhost.cse.tek.com29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 15:05:17 EST368_- Kgold wrote: >In short, our B/B Mitzvah preparation is less on preparing for one >special Shabbat service and more on preparing to be a Jewish adult. >Maybe that's our "mission statement" :-)

As I mentioned in the (rather long) posting, the students CONTINUE to attend religious school while this goes on. They are learning the "what" and "why" as well. [...] 4376 64 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4968] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Irene Bleiweiss16_IBLEIWEI@fcc.gov29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 15:14:18 EST293_- I agree with Natalie that what is important for a bar or bat mitzvah is = that the young person is prepared to meaningfully participate in the = Jewish community, that it is nice to see family participation in a = meaningful way, and disturbing when it is all viewed as a big party.=20 [...] 4441 47 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:4969] Re: Jewish computer games for preschoolers8_Tampamom18_benet4@gateway.net29_Tue, 22 Feb 2000 23:48:29 EST493_- I recently bought a package put out by Knowledge Adventure. It is "The Beginners Bible: Stories and Games for Jewish Children". It has 4 CD's in it: Moses in the Land of Egypt, Noah's Ark, David and Goliath and Smart Start Hebrew. It is recommended for children ages 3-8. I do not have a web site for Knowledge Adventure however...you might want to try one of the bigger companies like www.eichlers.com to see if they sell it (I purchased it in a schlock store in NY over a month ago). [...] 4489 78 35_[SCJ-PARENTING:4970] Re: a question12_Beth Katcher17_b.katcher@rcn.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 00:59:58 EST615_- > I suppose it breaks down to this: how do we, as Jewish parents, model > the love of learning for our kids and at what point are our > congregations responsible for fostering that attitude/belief as well?

You've raised lots of questions. Synagogues certainly own a piece of the responsibility for creating an environment where continued learning is encouraged. I've never seen a congregation that didn't have continuing ed for adults. Admittedly, programs for teens are less common. My suspicion is that to run a quality program takes more resources than most shuls have. Also you need critical mass [...] 4568 76 60_[SCJ-PARENTING:4971] Re: Jewish adoption from Eastern Europe11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 09:19:39 EST849_- try rabbi michael gold at http://www.rabbigold.com=20

BW wrote:

> Does anyone know if there are any agencies (governmental or otherwise) > dealing specifically with adopting Jewish children from Eastern > Europe?=3D20 > > BW > > =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D > This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may = differ. > Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent > authorities in those fields. > > ACKs are handled by an autoresponder. Munged From:/Reply-To: means no = ACKs. > Use "X-Ack-To: address" to redirect ACKs; it won't show up in the final = post. > Use [...] 4645 50 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4972] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 09:21:08 EST517_-



Alan Abrams wrote: >=20 > Okay--- >=20 > NOW, here's THE question!!! >=20 > does anyone else find it entirely disconcerting that these kids (at our = shul, > anyway) get a cassette tape and MEMORIZE the whole thing?

I sure do. And I believe that is one of the reasons we DO NOT give out tapes until very very late in the game, if at all, at our shul. I know the Rabbi is loathe to give out tapes and won't do so unless the kid is really stuck, but he has said that he gives out tapes to [...] 4696 131 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4973] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 09:25:00 EST356_-



Irene Bleiweiss wrote: >=20 > I agree with Natalie that what is important for a bar or bat mitzvah is = =3D > that the young person is prepared to meaningfully participate in the =3D > Jewish community, that it is nice to see family participation in a =3D > meaningful way, and disturbing when it is all viewed as a big party.=3D20= [...] 4828 95 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4974] Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 113015_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 09:29:29 EST541_-



> Be careful what you read about days schools. Much of what > appears in the Jewish press is written by advocates for one side > or the other, and cogent arguments can be made that outside of > the Orthodox programs, there is very little Day Schooling, perhaps > as little as 3 - 5% of kids in the non-o populations. The kids in > those programs tend to be the ones from the most committed > families, with the most Jewishly consistent homes. These are > probably not the children most at risk for loss. Also, since > [...] 4924 40 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:4976] Re: Appropriate gift for Bas Mitzvah?15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 12:30:52 EST489_-



Beth Katcher wrote: > > In my experience, this is a very regional thing. In the Boston area, > where I live now, $36 would be considered a nice gift -- but then again > we never do black tie for a bat mitzvah!

Actually, in the Boston area, double chai would be considered a cheap gift, too. I think most folks give at least a hundred dollar check, if they give money. I prefer a gift chosen with some personal thought. I think kids probably prefer money. :-) [...] 4965 44 79_[SCJ-PARENTING:4977] why emphasize Haftorah instead of Torah for b'nai mitzvah?19_Alexandra J Schmidt28_aschmidt@gematria.crd.ge.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 15:26:35 EST553_-

Someone (I believe Ken Goldman) asked about this in an earlier post... I checked what I thought was the reason with my rabbi and he concurred: it's simply that Haftorah reading is easier. I do both, and apart from the basic skills (Hebrew reading and memory of the music corresponding to each trope), I can attest that Torah reading requires more memory for vowels and for what sequences of trope appear in each verse. (The vowels are usually pretty easy if you understand Hebrew, but there are some parshiot where that is not the case.) [...] 5010 56 63_[SCJ-PARENTING:4978] Re: Jewish computer games for preschoolers16_Steven Weintraub19_stevenw@fchoice.com29_Wed, 23 Feb 2000 15:40:06 EST552_- Tampamom" wrote:

> I recently bought a package put out by Knowledge Adventure. It is "The > Beginners Bible: Stories and Games for Jewish Children". It has 4 CD's in > it: Moses in the Land of Egypt, Noah's Ark, David and Goliath and Smart > Start Hebrew. It is recommended for children ages 3-8. I do not have a web > site for Knowledge Adventure however...you might want to try one of the > bigger companies like www.eichlers.com to see if they sell it (I purchased > it in a schlock store in NY over a month ago). [...] 5067 42 41_[SCJ-PARENTING:4979] b'nai mitzvah season9_Dana Lear22_DanaLear@earthlink.net29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 11:05:32 EST532_- My son is to be bar mitzvah in June '01. He's one of those who is = woefully behind in preparation because we haven't lived in Jewish communities til this year, but I hope in two years he can make adequate progress.

I'm told the age set usually attends each other's day. My problem is that I'm *very* poor. I imagine I shall need to invite them, a few school friends, and the immediate family. I don't know how I shall invite that many people to even the most simple celebration, still less give gifts to so many in a [...] 5110 96 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4980] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 11:32:17 EST427_- i agree--- but herein the problem lie...

a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their kid can't read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who gets their b/m date 2 years in advance... books the country club/hotel/whatever, books the photographer, dj, etc., etc., etc... and a year from the date, or 6 months from the date, we learn that this kid will never make it!!???!!! [...] 5207 53 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4981] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation16_Evelyn C. Leeper35_eleeper@starship.dnrc.bell-labs.com29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 12:00:33 EST540_- In article <38B40BDB.18AA6B30@usa.net>, Alan Abrams wrote: > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their > kid can't read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who > gets their b/m date 2 years in advance... books the country > club/hotel/whatever, books the photographer, dj, etc., etc., etc... and a > year from the date, or 6 months from the date, we learn that this kid will > never make it!!???!!! > > do we make exceptions? [...] 5261 76 58_[SCJ-PARENTING:4982] Re: Appropriate gift for Bas Mitzvah?16_Benjamin Hurwitz20_hurwitz@blaze.net.au29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 12:19:40 EST509_- Why don't we ask the Kid? She might just suggest that Mavet is a much more = fitting amount! ;-) I know that some Rabbis would prefer it when paying for the Aliahs! Regards BH!

Marjorie Peskin wrote:

> Beth Katcher wrote: > > > > In my experience, this is a very regional thing. In the Boston area, > > where I live now, $36 would be considered a nice gift -- but then = again > > we never do black tie for a bat mitzvah! > > Actually, in the Boston area, double chai would be considered [...] 5338 33 39_[SCJ-PARENTING:4983] Birth Announcement14_Jan Silbermann16_js@cs.tulane.edu29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 12:55:39 EST479_-

With gratitude to Hashem and much joy, Jan, Frank Tovah, Eliana, Asher and David are pleased to announce the birth of their daughter and sister Shoshana Miriam 2/17/00 Yud Aleph Adar Aleph 7lbs 1oz

============================================================================== This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent authorities in those fields. [...] 5372 49 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4984] Re: SCJ-PARENTING digest 113015_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 13:26:24 EST603_- In article <951241324scjp-submit@shamash.org>, max_weisenfeld wrote:

> > Be careful what you read about days schools. Much of what > appears in the Jewish press is written by advocates for one side > or the other, and cogent arguments can be made that outside of > the Orthodox programs, there is very little Day Schooling, perhaps > as little as 3 - 5% of kids in the non-o populations. The kids in > those programs tend to be the ones from the most committed > families, with the most Jewishly consistent homes. These are > probably not the children most [...] 5422 106 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:4985] Re: b'nai mitzvah season15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 13:26:57 EST511_-



Dana Lear wrote: > > My son is to be bar mitzvah in June '01. He's one of those who is = > woefully > behind in preparation because we haven't lived in Jewish communities til > this year, but I hope in two years he can make adequate progress. > > I'm told the age set usually attends each other's day. My problem is that > I'm *very* poor. I imagine I shall need to invite them, a few school > friends, and the immediate family. I don't know how I shall invite that > many people to even [...] 5529 110 36_[SCJ-PARENTING:4987] re: day schools14_max_weisenfeld29_Max_Weisenfeld@compuserve.com29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 17:16:08 EST600_-

Marjorie Peskin (animzmirot@home.com) wrote:

>Oh really? Could you please tell me where you got these statistics?

New Jersey Jewish News, issue of February 17, 2000. The writer was using the statistics from the recent national educators survey. =3D

But to speak to what I actually said, as opposed to what you responded to, let me repeat: "Be careful what you read about days schools. Much of what appears in the Jewish press is written by advocates for one side or the other...." It appears to be true on this list as well. My point was that the vast majority of [...] 5640 72 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4988] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 20:42:51 EST498_-



Alan Abrams wrote: > > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their kid can't > read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who gets their b/m date > 2 years in advance... books the country club/hotel/whatever, books the > photographer, dj, etc., etc., etc... and a year from the date, or 6 months from > the date, we learn that this kid will never make it!!???!!! > > do we make exceptions? [...] 5713 68 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4989] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Marjorie Peskin19_animzmirot@home.com29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 20:42:54 EST544_-



"Evelyn C. Leeper" wrote: > > In article <38B40BDB.18AA6B30@usa.net>, Alan Abrams wrote: > > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their > > kid can't read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who > > gets their b/m date 2 years in advance... books the country > > club/hotel/whatever, books the photographer, dj, etc., etc., etc... and a > > year from the date, or 6 months from the date, we learn that this kid [...] 5782 129 45_[SCJ-PARENTING:4990] Re: b'nai mitzvah season21_Natalie Kim Bjorklund24_umbjork1@cc.UManitoba.CA29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 20:43:11 EST574_- In article you write: >My son is to be bar mitzvah in June '01. He's one of those who is = >woefully >behind in preparation because we haven't lived in Jewish communities til >this year, but I hope in two years he can make adequate progress. > >I'm told the age set usually attends each other's day. My problem is that >I'm *very* poor. I imagine I shall need to invite them, a few school >friends, and the immediate family. I don't know how I shall invite that >many people to even the most simple celebration, still less give [...] 5912 107 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4991] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Thu, 24 Feb 2000 23:03:43 EST530_- hay, marjorie-- i agree!!! but that's what i said in the beginning--- therein lies the problem.. the shul (or at least members concerned more with $ than ritual, etc.) depends on the $ more than the ritual. shul politics sucks, doesn't it? ;-)

Alan

Marjorie Peskin wrote:

> Alan Abrams wrote: > > > > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their > kid can't > > read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who gets [...] 6020 58 43_[SCJ-PARENTING:4992] Re: Birth Announcement16_Benjamin Hurwitz20_hurwitz@blaze.net.au29_Fri, 25 Feb 2000 03:18:48 EST656_- Mazel Tov. May you all have nothing but Nachas and may she grow to Mitzvot, Ben Torah ;-), Chuppa VeMaasim Tovim. Regards BH.

Jan Silbermann wrote:

> With gratitude to Hashem and much joy, > Jan, Frank > Tovah, Eliana, Asher and David > are pleased to announce the birth of their > daughter and sister > Shoshana Miriam > 2/17/00 Yud Aleph Adar Aleph > 7lbs 1oz > > ============================================================================== > This post reflects the author's opinion; the moderators' opinions may differ. > Posters seeking medical or halachic information should consult competent > authorities in those fields. > > [...] 6079 39 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4993] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation21_Natalie Kim Bjorklund24_umbjork1@cc.UManitoba.CA29_Sat, 26 Feb 2000 16:53:45 EST581_- In article <38B56F83.5B29555C@home.com> you write: > >Well, actually that isn't really accurate. A child becomes b'nai mitzvah >at 12/13 (depending upon gender) once they recite an aliyah. No aliyah, >no b'nai mitzvah.

Well actually that isn't really inaccurate. A child becomes b'nai mitzvah when the child turns thirteen if he is a boy or twelve if she is a girl. You certainly don't need to have an aliyah to reach that age. The aliyah is the minimum public marking of the event that can occur in the shul. But under the law you become an adult when you reach the [...] 6119 72 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4994] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation15_Fred Rosenblatt15_fredr5@juno.com29_Sat, 26 Feb 2000 16:53:47 EST567_- In article <38B56F83.5B29555C@home.com>, Marjorie Peskin wrote:

> "Evelyn C. Leeper" wrote: > > > > In article <38B40BDB.18AA6B30@usa.net>, Alan Abrams wrote: > > > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > > > > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their > > > kid can't read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who > > > gets their b/m date 2 years in advance... books the country > > > club/hotel/whatever, books the photographer, dj, etc., etc., etc... and a > [...] 6192 100 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4995] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation16_Benjamin Hurwitz20_hurwitz@blaze.net.au29_Mon, 28 Feb 2000 09:24:27 EST512_- Marjorie Peskin wrote:

> "Evelyn C. Leeper" wrote: > > > > In article <38B40BDB.18AA6B30@usa.net>, Alan Abrams = wrote: > > > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > > > > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but = their > > > kid can't read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family = who > > > gets their b/m date 2 years in advance... books the country > > > club/hotel/whatever, books the photographer, dj, etc., etc., etc... = and a > [...] 6293 90 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4996] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation11_Alan Abrams15_aabrams@usa.net29_Mon, 28 Feb 2000 09:41:51 EST578_- true, indeed... BUT-- we are talking about families who have to "put on the show"!

where is the line drawn?

AA

"Evelyn C. Leeper" wrote:

> In article <38B40BDB.18AA6B30@usa.net>, Alan Abrams wrote: > > i agree--- but herein the problem lie... > > > > a shul has a member family... they donate mega $ to the shul, but their > > kid can't read! what do you do??? what do you do with the family who > > gets their b/m date 2 years in advance... books the country > > club/hotel/whatever, books the photographer, dj, etc., etc., [...] 6384 66 55_[SCJ-PARENTING:4997] Re: Hebrew for very young children8_Tampamom18_benet4@gateway.net29_Mon, 28 Feb 2000 09:42:09 EST662_- We don't have a religious Jewish neighborhood here where I live. Is there any place online to see these? I've already tried my synagogue's gift shop.

Marion----Tampamom to Louis(7) and Erica(2)



sflaster@my-deja.com wrote in message <88mqe8$3pp$1@nnrp1.deja.com>... >I'm a little late posting here because I just discovered this discussion >group. But I wandered into a Jewish book store recently and found that >they had a huge selection of audio and video tapes for children. From >Barney and Elmo to Uzi Chitman. I bought one Uzi Chitman video because >it had Hebrew, English and transliteration in the subtitles. The music >is so [...] 6451 64 56_[SCJ-PARENTING:4998] Re: Kids Say the Funniest Things...14_Yitschak Calev25_justin-paul.geo@yahoo.com29_Mon, 28 Feb 2000 09:42:26 EST668_- Reminds me of something my 6 yo son was saying in December-- he'd point out houses with Christmas lights and say, "Christians live there."

"Greg Hooker" wrote in message news:eZSf4.3940$%%6.79985@typhoon.columbus.rr.com... > My 3 year old daughter was very aware this holiday season of the differences > between being Jewish and celebrating Hanukkah and being Xtian and > celebrating Xmas. By the time Hanukkah came, she was telling anyone who'd > listen that she was Jewish and didn't celebrate Hanukkah. Well, today, > someone asked her how she celebrated the millenium and she replied, "I don't > celebrate the 'lalenium'... [...] 6516 53 50_[SCJ-PARENTING:4999] Re: b'nai mitzvah preparation5_kgold20_kgold@watson.ibm.com29_Mon, 28 Feb 2000 21:40:56 EST459_-

Disconcerting - yes, but I think this is a reaction to market forces.

I find that many people, including parents, measure the entire B/B Mitzvah ceremony by how well (i.e. fast, smooth) the Hebrew is chanted. Listen to the comments and praises on the receiving line.

This is then extended, where the Hebrew school is rated by the performance of their "product". By extension, the Rabbi and Cantor are also being measured as well. [...]